The story is told of a trapeze artist who was teaching a student how to overcome his fear of performing on one of the high bars of the trapeze:

"I can’t do it! I can’t do it!" [the student] gasped. …In a reassuring tone [the instructor] told him, "Son, you can do it! And I tell you how. Throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow."

Throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow. That is such an amazing image!

I know what it’s like to be high up. A few years ago I had the opportunity to fling myself toward a trapeze bar too. It was during an exercise at a Tony Robbins event in Puerto Rico.

All of us [courageous] participants climbed these very tall poles, perched ourselves atop the skinny mounts, and leaped for the trapeze bar. Some of us fell crashing to our deaths…

(okay, that was for dramatic emphasis…remember we were all harnessed in, no one died!)

…like I was saying, some of us missed the trapeze and hung suspended by the cables.

Some chickened out and climbed back down the pole. And others went for it with all they had and grabbed that sucker.

Well, of course I grabbed it! Do you think I’d be writing this if I didn’t??? 

There was no way in heck I was heading back home with the regret of missing my opportunity to clinch that bar! (That’s me in the pics at the bottom of this post.)

I remember just seeing myself grab ahold of that bar and then I went for it. What an exhilerating feeling!

"A small amount of ability and a lot of desire will go a long way."
(Dr. Tom Massey, The ABC’s of Effective Leadership, p. 80)

This ability to see myself as being somewhere or doing something before it happens is so powerful. It is SO POWERFUL!

I’m experiencing this right now. I started this nightly ritual of taking an evening shower before heading off to bed.

I have a visualization of my perfect day laminated and stuck on the shower wall. It details the things I want to feel and do when I wake up, the people I want to meet and connect with throughout the day, and the types of results and successes I want to experience.

I read this visualization while I’m relaxing in the shower and just let my imagination flow.

Then I go to bed.

Then I wake up.

And I do it again! I take a morning shower and read the same visualization. Thoughts and ideas come to me and I feel all this courage to take action on what I see in my imagination.

And I take action.

This has been so much fun.

Wait. Fun isn’t strong enough!

It’s exciting, thrilling, energizing!! It’s self-perpetuating, growing, and compounding.

I step out in one area I imagine, and I get a flood of new ideas, desires, and thoughts of other things I can be doing.

And my belief in myself sky-rockets.

"We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change."

(John Maxwell, The Winning Attitude, p. 145)

So I continue to climb that pole and leap for the bar.

And I’m doing it before my body ever reaches it!

Children have such wonderful imaginations. Get around a little kid for awhile and you will inevitably get the sense that anything is possible for them…at all of 5, 6, 7 years old!

They are teachers, firefighters, policemen, soldiers, presidents, celebrities. Their imaginations are usually completely unbridled! And they usually have no fear either. They will try and do just about anything. They exhibit amazing confidence and determination until…

Ahhhhh, yes. Until.

Until the adult world begins to squeeze them into that teeny, weeny constrictive box. Their dreams become systematically dismantled. They hear the word "no" over and over again. They become ridiculed for their goals of wanting to be, do, and become more.

In essence: They become adults.

It’s sad but true. Fear overcomes faith. Reality replaces dreams. Mediocre becomes the highest standard for earning the measliest of raises.

But what happened to that childlike imagination? What happened to believing we could become whoever we wanted to be?

I will be bold as to say it never went away. It lies in all us, albeit dormant for many.

I sincerely believe everyone was brought into the world for a reason. Each of us has unique abilities that were meant to be contributed for the betterment of the world around us. I am a man of faith, so I believe that God put me here for a reason and that he has prepared specific things for me to do.

But for all the reasons I am writing this blog, I have my "hang-ups," the adult issues of living in a world where it isn’t always cool to think so differently from your neighbor, rock the boat, or trip up the status quo. You can read about some of my challenges in The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change.

So what to do…

How about getting back to dreaming and imagining like a child? Afterall, that ability never went away, though it may take some coaxing to come back for some.

I’ve been talking about affirmations, self-declarations, "I Am" statements, and the like. I guess to be brutally honest, it comes down to being like a kid again.

Who cares if whatever you’re declaring isn’t happening now? It could, couldn’t it?

Who cares if I’m not that kind of person today? I could be someday, couldn’t I?

And if I or anyone else is living a mediocre or unfulfilled existence right now, then isn’t it possible to believe that the only way is up??? Or would is it bettter to go down a few more levels until we’re six feet under?

So, I am now entering the Dream Zone. Yes, DREAM. As in IMAGINATION.

Here’s who I am…

I am creative.
I am an entrepreneur.
I am a man with a mission.
I am a man discoving his purpose.
I am a communicator.
I am a networker.
I am an artist.
I am a wordsmith.
I am an influencer.
I am a child of God.
I am growing.
I am determined.
I am courageous.
I am confident.
I am a leader.

When I look up my name in the dictionary I see:

"A man determined to overcome all odds to fulfill his mission and purpose in life. Bright, energetic, and highly creative. A person of great influence. A leader. Courageous and willing to go after whatever he wants no matter how difficult."

Many affirmations are declarations of what is already true, but perhaps forgotten or buried under years of neglect. Other affirmations are declarations of attributes that are sought after.

And if the world has beaten the dreamer out of any of us, many affirmations could very well be the bridge back to who we were destined to become when we were placed on this planet in the first place.

I am only limited by the scope of my imagination.

So dream, and dream BIG.

I don’t know about you, but the moment I decide that I want to change something in my life, all of my resistance sets in.

I had a Sheltie growing up and it always cracked me up whenever I pulled her chain hard to come with me. She would always pull back. We’re talking full-out resistance and totally digging her paws in the ground so as not to budge! 

I remember times I would pull her leash hard on purpose just to watch her do it. It never failed. She would aways fight me!

The best approach was to gently coax her and lightly pull her leash. She would always go where I wanted when I handled her that way!

“As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.”

(Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, p. 416)

I firmly believe it’s possible to do almost anything I set my mind to. It’s the “setting my mind to” part that’s the most challenging! This requires cooperation and gentle coaxing with myself. The forced approach rarely works.

You see, when I set my mind to doing something new or unfamiliar, I dig my own “paws” in the ground to resist moving forward.

Several years ago I was invited to help facilitate a workshop designed to assist attendees in breaking through the things that held them back. I figured I should probably do my own homework on that subject and decided to spend the day walking around busy areas of town and practice introducing myself to and talking with strangers.

The thought of doing this practically put me in a state of paralysis.

How did I get past that? I began imagining myself meeting people and having a great experience doing it. I began developing a positive picture in my mind of what I was going to do and then I just started doing it.

I had a blast!

So what am I talking about here? My beliefs about who I am and what I can do are malleable rather than fixed. They can change.

Imagination, visualization, meditation, affirmations…these are all methods of gently coaxing my new beliefs forward until they become part of me. New behaviors are sure to follow.

Give it a try!

Ever wish you could go back in time and do something over, differently, or maybe not at all? I know I have.

“Failure is an opportunity to begin again, but more intelligently.”

John Maxwell

And hindsight has 20/20 vision…

As human beings we have the great and magnificent ability to learn from our mistakes. So like it or not, failing, falling down, screwing up…it’s all part of the learning experience.

But what about this notion of time travel? I mean seriously, why not fix ourselves that way?

Hey now…I’m serious!

I may not be able to go back in time, but I can sure go forward…in my imagination.

I was inspired recently by an article I read in my health club’s fitness magazine. It was about a book called “Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True.”

I haven’t read the book, but I found the article about it extremely helpful. Here’s a snip…

“Imagine looking back on your life from your deathbed and identifying the important things that might have kept your experience in this lifetime from being a complete, totally satisfying experience…translate each major regret (’I wish I had experienced A or accomplished B or not screwed up C’) into a positive, powerful, present-tense statement - a statement that would be true, assuming you created successes in the areas you currently feel lacking. For example: “My life is a total success because I have experienced A, or I am enjoying B, or I have come to understand C.”

Pilar Gerasimo, “No Show, No Glow”
Experience Life Magazine, p. 12

This past week I pictured myself being interviewed in the future. I was at the height of success and people wanted to know how I achieved it:

1. What were my biggest challenges?
2. When did things turn around for me?
3. What did I do?

When I finished I felt like I’d come off of a mountaintop somewhere. My vision was clearer and I felt like I understood my purpose better.

And I had a greater sense of what steps I needed to take to ensure I was answering those same questions the same way in the future.

I will share the answers in my next post about developing a passion…

I have an alter ego. His name is Dennis.

In my post, The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change, I wrote, “there’s a side of me that seeks to sabotage any progress or accomplishments I make. It’s like a kamikaze pilot dive-bombing my life for days, weeks, and months on end if I let it.”

Well folks, that’s Dennis.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an alter ego like Dennis. You know, the kind who lies hidden, ready to pounce when you least expect it…Ready to accuse, point a finger of blame, tell you why you can’t ______ (fill in the blank).

Taking steps of faith and completely ignoring that voice can sometimes seem impossible, but developing and consistently maintaining an empowering ritual for success can go a long way toward mastering it.

Off and on over the past several months I’ve been reading from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. While I won’t go into everything about his book in this post, at minimum I will lay out what he considers the six pillars of a healthy self-esteem:

1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I recently began delving into the second pillar, The Practice of Self-Acceptance. So many juicy nuggets of truth!

“Whereas self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Stated in the negative, self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” (p.90)

Let THAT one sink in!!! (Dennis, are ya listening???)

Not too long ago I was having a bad day and Dennis erupted out of hiding and decided to have his say. I found myself in front of a mirror, not picking myself apart, but BLASTING myself apart.

Hmmmmmm… Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself…

In times like this it is good to have developed and maintained some proper thinking habits beforehand.

Meditation, visualization, affirmations, positive self-talk…good stuff for sure.

How about feeding the good parts of myself instead of starving them?

There’s this song that came out awhile back that I really love. It’s called Let Me Take You Away by Jenn Cuneta. I scoured the internet to try to find the lyrics (fortunately they’re relatively easy to transcribe).

Let Me Take You Away is another one of those upbeat songs that I’ve included in my empowering ritual for success. I don’t know the background or exact meaning of the song, though I’m sure it’s about some kind of relationship.

On the surface the lyrics probably don’t sound very deep or meaningful. When I look in the mirror however, and tell them (or sing them Karaoke-style!) to myself, they take on a whole new, powerful meaning. 

And just to be clear, I ain’t talking to Dennis. I’m talking to that good part of me. The one who needs to be fed and to grow stronger.

(Translation for Dennis: This is an A and B conversation. You’re C. That’s short for C Ya, adios, take a hike.)

Do I sound like a nut? Certifiable for sure! :-)

My stab at the lyrics is below. I know there are spots where I’m probably totally off, but the message is still great Click here to listen to the song on Jenn’s MySpace page (a new window will open up, it’s the second song in her player).

You really have to listen and read along to the song to fully appreciate what I’m talking about!

Let Me Take You Away, Jenn Cuneta

I see you staring back at me
It’s like some crazy kind of chemistry.
You can’t disguise it.
You have that glare.
Like natural mystic floating through the air.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin.’

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

Been working hard, everyday.
Nobody listens to a word you say.

You want your fortune, yesterday.
It’s no illusion when you’re hungry for more.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feelings that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.
Let me take you away.

Don’t look away, you gotta be strong.
Don’t be afraid, no cause for alarm.
Feel the joy in your heart, in your soul.
Lose control.

Come with me.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Living this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.