A lot of people (myself included) tend to define themselves in terms of their personal history: successes and failures, achievements and setbacks, education, family, relationships, jobs, etc. 

Admittedly, the nature of time and my own physical body provide a pretty compelling argument that who I am today, indeed all that I am, is soley the culmination of my past and present. What else is there?

But lately I’ve come to realize there’s more to it than that.

If I go with the premise that yesterday and today is all there is, then life (for me at least) would be truly meaningless.

However, coming from both a spiritual and Christian perspective, I believe that all human beings have an eternal nature to them and therefore simultaneously exist in the future as well. 

Taking it a step further to account for this future true and eternal self opens a multitude of possibilities.

This concept is something I’ve been resisting for quite some time too. “Resisting” sounds a little weak. I’ve been pretty much fighting against the notion.

Whatever the reason, my defenses have been pretty strong. It probably means there is something really important on the other side of that wall.

But while my defenses are strong, I kind of doubt that storming or blasting the wall away is the answer. Truthfully, I think all that’s required is to just plain ‘ole walk through the wall.

Translation: it’s a faith transaction rather than an intellectual one.

I’ve had a handful of moments over the past several months where I’ve gotten an inkling of what’s on the other side of the wall.

I remember a couple of times when this feeling of peace came out of nowhere. I had the impression that no matter how the story looked at the present time, the ending was still good. I wasn’t reading or doing anything at the moment that would have triggered that feeling. It literally came out of the blue.

While those felt like “God” moments, there were other times where the impression felt less like God and more like, well, me. And this is where it might sound a little weird. It wasn’t me today, but me somewhere in the future…the future on the other side of that wall…if I chose to walk through it in faith.

I’m going to segway a little with an insight that Tony Robbins gives in regards to the art of race car driving:

“The number-one fundamental they teach in driving is: Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear…Drivers know that you go where you look; you travel the direction of your focus. If you resist your fear, have faith, and focus on where you want to go, your actions will take you in that direction.”
(Awaken the Giant Within, p. 161)

A number of years ago I attended a seminar where I had the opportunity to break a board with my bare hand. The key to breaking it, however, was not found in physical strength or sheer will power. It was in quietly first seeing (in my mind’s eye) my hand go through the board, and then just doing it.

Everyone who tried to break the board through brute strength failed, to the point where some even hurt themselves.

Focusing on the wall, the barrier, the fear…this doesn’t seem to work. Changing the focus to what’s on the other side of it, well that seems to be the trick.

There comes a point, however, where intellect (personal history) must be left behind in favor of embracing a truth that cannot be seen by the naked eye and which has no rational, intellectual means for being.

Hmmmmm…something to think about.

So, on behalf of my future true self, and in honor of passing through that wall, here’s something from Mon A Q that’s had a lot of meaning for me lately (lyrics below):

 “It’s My Turn,” Mon A Q

There was a time
Didn’t think i could make it
One more day
I never thought
I could take this all the way
Shared my love
With anybody in need
I found the courage
I need for me
I’m gonna sing my song

And it’s my turn
I’m here to take it
Get outta my way
’cause i’ve gotta make it
It’s my turn
Got to keep on pushin’
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher
And it’s my turn
And nobody else
Gonna take it away
Is gonna take this away
And it’s my turn
I know i deserve it
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher

There was a love we had
I thought would never ever end
You were my lover
But now you’re not even my friend
I’ve wasted my time
Coulda been shoulda been
Livin my own dreams
No no no it’s not too late

Now i’m singin’ for me

I can’t wait
I can’t stop
I’ve got to give love
All i’ve got
What i do
I do just for me