In honor of the New Year’s arrival, I’m going to start out with something Mark Victor Hansen recently wrote to the subscribers of his weekly email:

It’s the time of year when many of us reflect on our year’s events…

Our goals; those attained and those unattained.
Our dreams; those fulfilled and those unfilled.
Our hopes; those dashed and those realized.

Perhaps you’ve achieved everything you set out to accomplish in the past 365 days. If so, Congratulations!

But what about the rest of us?

Perhaps for some, the year was not as prosperous as we had hoped and some of the goals remained elusive.  Perhaps some of the lessons we learned seemed harsh and our teachers overbearing.

Yet we continue to learn, grow and choose our own path…

We celebrate our small victories of the past 365 days.

And you have victories you can celebrate and that you can check off as “accomplished” on that big “TO DO” list of yours.

You have done great deeds and have overcome great obstacles. They may not seem like large or obvious accomplishments at first, but when you think about it you have:

Impacted people in a positive way… CHECK!
Expanded your views and your personal education… CHECK!
Continued on the journey towards the ultimate you… CHECK!
Lived 365 days of living, loving and learning… CHECK!
Brought a smile to someone’s face… CHECK!

It was exactly one year ago today that I had spent the entire day writing out my goals. I’d written goals before, but never this detailed or elaborate.

I wrote 36 in all, breaking down how I would accomplish them over the course of the year. I did it in a way that wouldn’t feel overwhelming or impossible. Many were a stretch, but all were definitely worth working toward.

I hit quite a few bumps over the past year and definitely had my fair share of disappointments. While certain goals were unattained, there were some where it seemed like I’d gone completely backward and beyond just going back to Square One.

Some of these apparent “failures” were heartbreaking and difficult to face or even admit to myself.

And then I got that email I shared above. It’s a great feeling knowing I can give myself checks like that!

One of my proudest accomplishments of 2008 is launching this blog. It was one of my 36 written goals too! Yippee!!

A friend recently asked what motivates me to share the way I do. After a bit of thought, I wrote back:

“We live in a day and age where so many people are afraid to let their guards down and subsequently they wear all these masks. It can be tiring after awhile. And I just love the whole learning process and being able to share it from a personal perspective, without the sense that I’m vomiting a ton of inappropriate details.”

I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone, but it’s something that appears to drive me. That, and also the motivation to press through my own journey.

And yes it’s been a journey.

Has someone ever complimented you about something that you were all too quick to deflect? Maybe it was an ability or quality, or the way you looked in those new clothes or that new haircut, or some kind of accomplishment?

Not only am I raising my hand, I’m standing up on the podium jumping up and down saying, “That’s me! Yes, I do that!”

A couple of years ago I used to walk around my neighborhood early in the morning speaking out a little mantra that Tony Robbins shared on one of his CDs: “All I need is within me now.”

At first blush that chant sounded a little strange to me, and coming from a Christian perspective, it felt a little self-centered in a way. Yet while I believe that God provides for my needs, I also believe he put a lot in this package called “David” that I haven’t been so willing to accept.

And hello! The clues had been coming at me left and right for years. I sat there like a blonde deer in the headlights. “Who, me?”

Then something dawned on me yesterday. I guess I can’t say I hadn’t heard it before, but this time I think I really HEARD it:

No matter how many people out there love you, accept you, believe you, appreciate you…none of it will ever be able to overcome or make up for your own lack of self acceptance.

And I realized that everything that the closest of friends and mentors had been trying to tell me…convince me for years…was true: everything I need is right there inside me, like a present, ready to be opened and accepted.

I don’t have to be anyone else. Everything that God gave me is right there, and it’s perfect. No mask required.

Now I don’t know what anyone else would think, but I believe that coming to understand that truth has got to be one of the best and biggest accomplishments for me in all of 2008.

Checks and gold stars all around for you, David! Happy New Year!!!

I took a telecourse last weekend called The Art and Science of Achieving Your Goals and Dreams. Part of my pre-course homework involved writing a life purpose statement, as well as a vision statement for my life (what my life would be like living at the peak of success and the achievement of my goals and dreams). I will share them both.

Purpose

“The purpose of my life is to learn and grow, inspiring others along the way, and showing them they too can do the same.”

Vision

“I am living a life of complete emotional freedom. I love myself and others freely and unconditionally. I have learned to master my thoughts and emotions in such a way that I’ve come to trust and honor myself and my abilities at a whole new level. I can state a goal and know I will reach it because I am congruent and honor my promises to myself. I accept all learning curves and have learned to be patient with myself and others as a result.

The aforementioned emotional freedom has enabled me to move into financial freedom. I am free to ask and receive. I can hold an intention with complete faith because I know it will come to pass. This has enabled me to exceed my financial targets. I am attracting money, business, and partnerships at increasing levels of speed and earn in excess of $________K a year.”

I launched this blog to find, reach out to, and connect with others on this level. I know there is great power to be found in accountability and I’ve already seen how some of you out there have been awakened to your own dreams and goals and have gotten that extra push to take your own steps of faith.

So with that said, “you know who” paid me a visit this week. Yes, that would be “Dennis.” (Refer to Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams to learn more about him!) I had been working toward a particular financial goal over the past couple of years and had somewhat of a setback in relation to it a few days ago.

These things happen.

Of the myriad reactions I had building in me, one of the more healthy responses was to talk about it here. After all, this is the before, during, and after story. In doing so I live out my chosen purpose in the present, and set the stage for achieving my vision in the future.

Even though what happened sucks (I won’t go into details yet), it’s pretty cool to realize it’s still working in my favor!

At some point faith always gets tested. Holding the course, especially during moments of discouragement, is the key to getting to the other side.

Can I hear an Amen?

I have an alter ego. His name is Dennis.

In my post, The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change, I wrote, “there’s a side of me that seeks to sabotage any progress or accomplishments I make. It’s like a kamikaze pilot dive-bombing my life for days, weeks, and months on end if I let it.”

Well folks, that’s Dennis.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an alter ego like Dennis. You know, the kind who lies hidden, ready to pounce when you least expect it…Ready to accuse, point a finger of blame, tell you why you can’t ______ (fill in the blank).

Taking steps of faith and completely ignoring that voice can sometimes seem impossible, but developing and consistently maintaining an empowering ritual for success can go a long way toward mastering it.

Off and on over the past several months I’ve been reading from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. While I won’t go into everything about his book in this post, at minimum I will lay out what he considers the six pillars of a healthy self-esteem:

1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I recently began delving into the second pillar, The Practice of Self-Acceptance. So many juicy nuggets of truth!

“Whereas self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Stated in the negative, self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” (p.90)

Let THAT one sink in!!! (Dennis, are ya listening???)

Not too long ago I was having a bad day and Dennis erupted out of hiding and decided to have his say. I found myself in front of a mirror, not picking myself apart, but BLASTING myself apart.

Hmmmmmm… Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself…

In times like this it is good to have developed and maintained some proper thinking habits beforehand.

Meditation, visualization, affirmations, positive self-talk…good stuff for sure.

How about feeding the good parts of myself instead of starving them?

There’s this song that came out awhile back that I really love. It’s called Let Me Take You Away by Jenn Cuneta. I scoured the internet to try to find the lyrics (fortunately they’re relatively easy to transcribe).

Let Me Take You Away is another one of those upbeat songs that I’ve included in my empowering ritual for success. I don’t know the background or exact meaning of the song, though I’m sure it’s about some kind of relationship.

On the surface the lyrics probably don’t sound very deep or meaningful. When I look in the mirror however, and tell them (or sing them Karaoke-style!) to myself, they take on a whole new, powerful meaning. 

And just to be clear, I ain’t talking to Dennis. I’m talking to that good part of me. The one who needs to be fed and to grow stronger.

(Translation for Dennis: This is an A and B conversation. You’re C. That’s short for C Ya, adios, take a hike.)

Do I sound like a nut? Certifiable for sure! :-)

My stab at the lyrics is below. I know there are spots where I’m probably totally off, but the message is still great Click here to listen to the song on Jenn’s MySpace page (a new window will open up, it’s the second song in her player).

You really have to listen and read along to the song to fully appreciate what I’m talking about!

Let Me Take You Away, Jenn Cuneta

I see you staring back at me
It’s like some crazy kind of chemistry.
You can’t disguise it.
You have that glare.
Like natural mystic floating through the air.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin.’

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

Been working hard, everyday.
Nobody listens to a word you say.

You want your fortune, yesterday.
It’s no illusion when you’re hungry for more.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feelings that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.
Let me take you away.

Don’t look away, you gotta be strong.
Don’t be afraid, no cause for alarm.
Feel the joy in your heart, in your soul.
Lose control.

Come with me.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Living this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.