A lot of people (myself included) tend to define themselves in terms of their personal history: successes and failures, achievements and setbacks, education, family, relationships, jobs, etc. 

Admittedly, the nature of time and my own physical body provide a pretty compelling argument that who I am today, indeed all that I am, is soley the culmination of my past and present. What else is there?

But lately I’ve come to realize there’s more to it than that.

If I go with the premise that yesterday and today is all there is, then life (for me at least) would be truly meaningless.

However, coming from both a spiritual and Christian perspective, I believe that all human beings have an eternal nature to them and therefore simultaneously exist in the future as well. 

Taking it a step further to account for this future true and eternal self opens a multitude of possibilities.

This concept is something I’ve been resisting for quite some time too. “Resisting” sounds a little weak. I’ve been pretty much fighting against the notion.

Whatever the reason, my defenses have been pretty strong. It probably means there is something really important on the other side of that wall.

But while my defenses are strong, I kind of doubt that storming or blasting the wall away is the answer. Truthfully, I think all that’s required is to just plain ‘ole walk through the wall.

Translation: it’s a faith transaction rather than an intellectual one.

I’ve had a handful of moments over the past several months where I’ve gotten an inkling of what’s on the other side of the wall.

I remember a couple of times when this feeling of peace came out of nowhere. I had the impression that no matter how the story looked at the present time, the ending was still good. I wasn’t reading or doing anything at the moment that would have triggered that feeling. It literally came out of the blue.

While those felt like “God” moments, there were other times where the impression felt less like God and more like, well, me. And this is where it might sound a little weird. It wasn’t me today, but me somewhere in the future…the future on the other side of that wall…if I chose to walk through it in faith.

I’m going to segway a little with an insight that Tony Robbins gives in regards to the art of race car driving:

“The number-one fundamental they teach in driving is: Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear…Drivers know that you go where you look; you travel the direction of your focus. If you resist your fear, have faith, and focus on where you want to go, your actions will take you in that direction.”
(Awaken the Giant Within, p. 161)

A number of years ago I attended a seminar where I had the opportunity to break a board with my bare hand. The key to breaking it, however, was not found in physical strength or sheer will power. It was in quietly first seeing (in my mind’s eye) my hand go through the board, and then just doing it.

Everyone who tried to break the board through brute strength failed, to the point where some even hurt themselves.

Focusing on the wall, the barrier, the fear…this doesn’t seem to work. Changing the focus to what’s on the other side of it, well that seems to be the trick.

There comes a point, however, where intellect (personal history) must be left behind in favor of embracing a truth that cannot be seen by the naked eye and which has no rational, intellectual means for being.

Hmmmmm…something to think about.

So, on behalf of my future true self, and in honor of passing through that wall, here’s something from Mon A Q that’s had a lot of meaning for me lately (lyrics below):

 “It’s My Turn,” Mon A Q

There was a time
Didn’t think i could make it
One more day
I never thought
I could take this all the way
Shared my love
With anybody in need
I found the courage
I need for me
I’m gonna sing my song

And it’s my turn
I’m here to take it
Get outta my way
’cause i’ve gotta make it
It’s my turn
Got to keep on pushin’
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher
And it’s my turn
And nobody else
Gonna take it away
Is gonna take this away
And it’s my turn
I know i deserve it
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher

There was a love we had
I thought would never ever end
You were my lover
But now you’re not even my friend
I’ve wasted my time
Coulda been shoulda been
Livin my own dreams
No no no it’s not too late

Now i’m singin’ for me

I can’t wait
I can’t stop
I’ve got to give love
All i’ve got
What i do
I do just for me

Coming across someone who has brought their life to a screeching halt can be a scary thing sometimes. As human beings I firmly believe we are meant to always be moving, growing, learning, changing, and though it sounds strange, evolving.

Personally, I don’t think we’re meant to just “hang out” here, biding time through our entire existence.

I know that when I put everything on hold and ignore the signals of movement and growth that are happening inside me I can become very depressed, almost despairing.

It’s especially keen when I know and feel that it is a higher calling stirring within me.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, it is all too easy to put off, hit the snooze button, or utterly ignore those whispers of meaning and purpose that are always beckoning the human soul to its higher purpose.

There are so many distractions available, so many ways to dull the message coming toward me.

When I continually ignore the message, this other side of me manifests. Affectionately (or not so), this entity known as “Dennis” (see Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams) comes equipped with his own beliefs, habits, imagination, and will. And subsequently, he rules as if there is no other reality.

C.S. Lewis beautifully depicts a similar manifestation in his book, “The Silver Chair.” A prince is captured by an evil queen and put under an enchantment that transforms him into a conceited, self-absorbed…jerk.

He must be bound in a chair, however, during times when the enchantment is lifted and his “right mind” comes back to him.

While under the spell, he has everyone convinced that he is who he says he is and the other, true self, is the bad guy, the one to keep bound up.

“Listen while I am master of myself. When the fit is upon me, it well may be that I shall beg and implore you, with entreaties and threatenings, to loosen my bonds…I shall call upon you by all that is most dear and most dreadful. But do not listen to me…For while I am bound you are safe. But if once I were up and out of this chair, then first would come my fury, and after that” - he shuddered - “the change into a loathsome serpent.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 170)

One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

I believe this to be both a very profound and very accurate statement.

But for the “spells” that I and many others put themselves under, there is so much that we could probably accomplish. Instead, many of us find ourselves like Ulysses in Homer’s Odyssey, in danger of crashing against the rocks by the enticing song of the Sirens that attempts to pull us away from the journey and our destiny.

Thankfully the spell lifts, the danger passes, and the right mind is returned to once again call the sojourner forward.

“Have they told you that if I am released from this chair I shall kill you and become a serpent? I see by your faces that they have. It is a lie. It is at this hour that I am in my right mind.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 172)

I am fully capable of convincing myself and the world around me that I am someone else when I am in the “Dennis” mindset. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he ain’t a very attractive guy. In fact, he’s a counterfeit to all that is good, true, and noble within me.

And as they say, like attracts like.

And for those who either love or hate the book and/or movie “The Secret,” this is what I’m talking about. The kids in C.S. Lewis’ book couldn’t stand the prince when he was under the spell.

There is a lot to be said for being grounded in one’s true self.

A good friend of mine recently shared something remarkable with me. I had sent him an email sharing some of the internal challenges I was dealing with and their seemingly (to me) lack of purpose or meaning. He said the email and the difficulties I described blessed him.

While this leg of my journey seemed to have no value whatsoever to me, it had great value to my friend.

It made me wonder.

Perhaps the life I live isn’t for me or about me at all. Perhaps it is lived for others to see.

And here’s something else I’ve heard over and over again from multitude of places:

Whatever I focus on grows.

I like what the Bible says about it:

“…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

I’ve heard stories of concentration camp survivors who lived through horrendous experiences by practicing that principal…

“The intensification of inner life helped the prisoner find a refuge from the emptiness, desolation and spiritual poverty of his existence…”

“Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally, therefore, man can even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

(Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, p. 50, 75)

It’s amazing how quickly my state of mind changes when I change my focus. It compounds when I combine it with some type of activity - for example, writing. Not introspective, depressing writing, but writing that lifts me up and connects me with a greater purpose…

…perhaps even a life lived in front of others.

Everyone with a sense of mission or purpose in life will probably hit a time when they question the journey. They might even reach a point where the intensity of it makes them feel like they’re losing their minds.

“Dark night of the soul” is an expression I’ve heard many times along my Christian journey. It originates from a poem of the same name written in the 16th century by a priest known as Saint John of the Cross.

I won’t get too much into the poem because I myself haven’t read it, but the premise and the meaning of the phrase is this:

We are all are capable of, and most likely will go through, periods of darkness, difficulty, confusion, etc. on our way to maturity in whatever area we are journeying through.

In the Christian sense, it’s the spiritual journey through life on earth to full union with God.

I’ve been through dark nights several times in my life and I can say that that the distinctions, understandings, and wisdom that is gained through the experience cannot be matched or gained any other way.

It’s ironic that my last post was on mastering the game of life. Unsuccessfully navigating through dark times can surely take anyone out of the game permanently…whether life, love, relationships, career, business, or any other endeavor or worthwhile pursuit.

In doing a little research into the subject of the dark night of the soul, I learned that even Mother Teresa went through a period of severe doubt…for over 50 years.

“Where is my faith? Even deep down … there is nothing but emptiness and darkness … If there be God—please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul … How painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith. Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal, … What do I labor for? If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true.”

(Mother Teresa, “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light”)

I think the popular song “No Air” poignantly describes these feelings of emptiness that Mother Teresa describes (lyrics at the end of the post). Obviously it’s a love ballad, but also a very authentic one that I believe anyone can relate to. Just replace the object of affection with any kind of pursuit. Watch below or here.

“So how do you expect me to live alone with just me?”

It has taken me a long time to write this post. I think I started it over a month ago, shortly after I was hit pretty hard with that empty feeling. I found myself curled up in the dark, crying for who knows how long. Yep, I said it! Crying.

At the bottom of every painful, frustrating period I go through lies my true authentic self waiting to be revealed. A friend of mine used to say something to the effect that difficulties not only make character, they reveal it. That’s very profound. Oswald Chambers puts it another way:

“Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me.”

(Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, June 25)

Underneath all the pains and struggles of life lies the person capable of handling them. These include not only hardships, but also the stretching, pruning, and weaning that accompanies the journey toward any kind of achievement, mission, goal, or purpose.

More to come…

No Air, Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?

[Jordin]
If I should die before I wake
It’s cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh

[Chris]
I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin]
But how
Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

[Chris]
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew,
Right off the ground to flow to you
There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real

[Jordin]
But somehow I’m still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don’t know how but I don’t even care

[Both]
So how do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

No more

No air

Baby

There’s no air, no air

Hey, oOoOo

Oooooooooooooh

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
[Jordin]
(Do you expect me, to live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you, It’s so hard for me to breathe)

[Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breath with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air

[Outro-Both]
Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me?

If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe

There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air,

No air

I’ve heard it said that life is like a game. People who are able to  objectively negotiate through its challenges and setbacks, as well as its successes and wins, stand to be winners…no matter how the game goes.

Sometimes the winds of life blow hard, and depending on which direction I am headed, the wind can either be at my back or practically knocking me over. Wind is wind. It does not have a personal agenda for or against me.

Let me put it a different way. Think about a traffic jam. Ugh. Chicago traffic at rush hour can be the worst, and there are times when I can really let it get to me.

But it’s not like everyone in the jam is out to make my time of driving a miserable experience. They’re all just trying to get somewhere too!

Being able to handle frustrating moments without letting them take me down is a skill I’m finding worth developing.

Going back to the game metaphor, I can choose whether life’s frustrations and hardships are a meaningless game of chance or whether they are a game that has a purpose and can be mastered through strategies that can be learned. 

Which is more empowering?

If I believe that stuff just happens to me, I can focus on the belief that life just isn’t fair and definitely not worth going after with zeal and enthusiasm. I’m a victim.

If I believe that a higher purpose may be governing the events in my life, then I stand to feel better about what is happening.

There is a verse in the Bible that I really like:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God…" (Romans 8:28)

Even if you are not of the Christian faith, this is an extremely powerful belief for anyone to employ in their life!

Seeing everything as working for me is very empowering.

Everything that happens in my life, good, bad, or indifferent, works for my good.

Mind you, I’m not talking about sugarcoating every tragedy that occurs and pasting on a fake smile to mask the pain. I’m talking about acknowledging that the things that happen in my life are not happening in a vacuum, but rather these things, when looked at over the larger scheme of time, are working together for my good.

And I won’t say that the God of this universe would be so picky as to discriminate against those who do not know, love, or believe in him, because my belief is that he is ALWAYS reaching out and speaking to people and working things out for them because that is just who he is.

Again, that’s my belief, and not everyone believes what I believe…

But let’s say we don’t even bring faith or religion or anything like that into the equation.

Holding strongly to a belief that life prepares, educates, and teaches lessons for our good, even good that may be way off into the future, can still be an extremely healthy way to engage with the things that happen in it.

I recently became acquainted with a guy who has written a memoir of his addiction to and journey out of using Crystal Meth. I’m only about 25 pages into his story, but I am amazed at this man who got caught up in this stuff, overcame it, and is now using his skills as a writer to reach other people and help them learn from HIS experience.

He is deliberately choosing not to see himself as a victim of the circumstances in his life, but rather becoming a champion for a cause that very few are willing to take up. He is very passionate about it.

History and modern times are full of examples of people like Terry. People who choose to look at their lives a little differently, taking responsibilty for the lessons learned, growing through them, and passing on the knowledge to others.  

They see calling and purpose out of the cards dealt to them.

I look at my own life. There are days when I’m like, "What is up here???" However, I’ve learned more and more to trust the process and believe that everything happens for a reason.

Hardships make me stronger. Fears develop courage. Disappointments create resolve.

There’s a popular saying I used to hear a lot when I was in sales: "Sometimes you gotta roll with the punches."

So today, I choose to treat life like a game that has a purpose…and not any old purpose…a purpose that works for my good!

I don’t know about you, but the moment I decide that I want to change something in my life, all of my resistance sets in.

I had a Sheltie growing up and it always cracked me up whenever I pulled her chain hard to come with me. She would always pull back. We’re talking full-out resistance and totally digging her paws in the ground so as not to budge! 

I remember times I would pull her leash hard on purpose just to watch her do it. It never failed. She would aways fight me!

The best approach was to gently coax her and lightly pull her leash. She would always go where I wanted when I handled her that way!

“As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.”

(Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, p. 416)

I firmly believe it’s possible to do almost anything I set my mind to. It’s the “setting my mind to” part that’s the most challenging! This requires cooperation and gentle coaxing with myself. The forced approach rarely works.

You see, when I set my mind to doing something new or unfamiliar, I dig my own “paws” in the ground to resist moving forward.

Several years ago I was invited to help facilitate a workshop designed to assist attendees in breaking through the things that held them back. I figured I should probably do my own homework on that subject and decided to spend the day walking around busy areas of town and practice introducing myself to and talking with strangers.

The thought of doing this practically put me in a state of paralysis.

How did I get past that? I began imagining myself meeting people and having a great experience doing it. I began developing a positive picture in my mind of what I was going to do and then I just started doing it.

I had a blast!

So what am I talking about here? My beliefs about who I am and what I can do are malleable rather than fixed. They can change.

Imagination, visualization, meditation, affirmations…these are all methods of gently coaxing my new beliefs forward until they become part of me. New behaviors are sure to follow.

Give it a try!

I took a telecourse last weekend called The Art and Science of Achieving Your Goals and Dreams. Part of my pre-course homework involved writing a life purpose statement, as well as a vision statement for my life (what my life would be like living at the peak of success and the achievement of my goals and dreams). I will share them both.

Purpose

“The purpose of my life is to learn and grow, inspiring others along the way, and showing them they too can do the same.”

Vision

“I am living a life of complete emotional freedom. I love myself and others freely and unconditionally. I have learned to master my thoughts and emotions in such a way that I’ve come to trust and honor myself and my abilities at a whole new level. I can state a goal and know I will reach it because I am congruent and honor my promises to myself. I accept all learning curves and have learned to be patient with myself and others as a result.

The aforementioned emotional freedom has enabled me to move into financial freedom. I am free to ask and receive. I can hold an intention with complete faith because I know it will come to pass. This has enabled me to exceed my financial targets. I am attracting money, business, and partnerships at increasing levels of speed and earn in excess of $________K a year.”

I launched this blog to find, reach out to, and connect with others on this level. I know there is great power to be found in accountability and I’ve already seen how some of you out there have been awakened to your own dreams and goals and have gotten that extra push to take your own steps of faith.

So with that said, “you know who” paid me a visit this week. Yes, that would be “Dennis.” (Refer to Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams to learn more about him!) I had been working toward a particular financial goal over the past couple of years and had somewhat of a setback in relation to it a few days ago.

These things happen.

Of the myriad reactions I had building in me, one of the more healthy responses was to talk about it here. After all, this is the before, during, and after story. In doing so I live out my chosen purpose in the present, and set the stage for achieving my vision in the future.

Even though what happened sucks (I won’t go into details yet), it’s pretty cool to realize it’s still working in my favor!

At some point faith always gets tested. Holding the course, especially during moments of discouragement, is the key to getting to the other side.

Can I hear an Amen?

In a previous post, Building Belief with a Burning Desire to Succeed in Whatever You Set Your Mind To, I touched on the concept of faith.

I’m not a theologian by any stretch of the imagination, so this is my bare-bones, working man’s (or shall I say Lab Rat’s?) definition of the word:

Faith is believing, and even seeing in your mind’s eye, something you cannot physically see or sense.

It’s believing something to be real and true, even if it is contrary to or conflicts with what you are experiencing. There is no evidence that it is true but you believe it is true.

This is probably where we get the term “blind faith” from.

I think most people are introduced to the idea of faith in conjunction with some type of spiritual belief, however I don’t believe that any religion has a corner on the market when it comes to faith. I believe it is available to anyone for the taking.

One of the top songs in my daily ritual for success is “Faith” by a Swedish artist named Leana. It’s another one of those songs (and yes, there a LOT of those songs) that really resonates with me.

The lyrics are very simple. Here’s a sampling…

I didn’t want to know you
Didn’t want to show you
Who I was

What if I told you?
What if I showed you?
Would you see? Maybe, baby

‘Cause when I open the door
I just want to make sure
I won’t need to close it again

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting such a long time

I’ve found it extremely easy to live in and believe that the only reality is the reality that I experience today with my physical senses. That includes beliefs I’ve come to adopt over time.

Beliefs about my value, worth, abilities, talents, skills.

Beliefs about my relationships, family, friends, income, job.

Beliefs about what I can accomplish in life.

Beliefs about what I can give in life.

But what about faith?

If I, David, want to make any kind of change in my life, to some degree I have to believe it is possible before receiving any kind of evidence that it is.

About ten years ago I was taking a medication that caused my weight to balloon out 25 pounds. To this day I can’t stand looking at pictures of myself from that time. When I spoke with the doctor about my concerns, she told me to get used to it because it was a known side effect and nothing could be done to change it.

For awhile I believed her.

Then I heard about a book called “Body for Life” and I saw all these Before and After pictures of people who’d transformed themselves physically in 90 days.

My mind went to the possibility of believing something else.

I followed the principles and steps laid out in the book, even though I had NO EVIDENCE that it would work for me.

I would call that faith.

I would also call every day I worked out and every meal I ate and every glass of water I drank and every supplement I took mini steps of faith throughout the whole process.

I lost the 25 pounds.

Here’s the best part: when that doctor saw me, she couldn’t believe it. Now how’s that for irony!!!

There is a real dance with faith when it comes to pursuing goals and dreams. And it can be tainted with a lot of ambivalence at times…

I didn’t want to know you
Didn’t want to show you
Who I was

What if I told you?
What if I showed you?
Would you see? Maybe, baby

‘Cause when I open the door
I just want to make sure
I won’t need to close it again

So, on the edge of making any kind of decision to move forward in anything in life (new career, new relationship, new body, new business, new habits), faith stands willing to take its believers across the bridge into that new reality.

And honestly, I believe it even has the capability of carrying us all the way across until our feet are firmly planted in that new reality.

Here are the lyrics (at least my stab at them) for “Faith” and if the play button has disappeared (a known issue!) you can listen to the song here.

Faith, Leana

Faith…
Faith…
Faith…

I didn’t want to know you
Didn’t want to show you
Who I was

What if I told you?
What if I showed you?
Would you see? Maybe, baby

‘Cause when I open the door
I just want to make sure
I won’t need to close it again

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting such a long time

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting, waiting such a long time

Faith…

Faith…

Faith…

I didn’t want to go there
Didn’t want to know there was something else
Higher than the mountain
Higher than the sky far over my head

‘Cause when I open the door
I just want to make sure
I won’t need to close it again

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting such a long time

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting, waiting such a long time

For this…

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting such a long time

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting such a long time

Faith
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
‘Cause I’ve been waiting, waiting such a long time

I’ve got faith

I’ve got faith.

I have an alter ego. His name is Dennis.

In my post, The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change, I wrote, “there’s a side of me that seeks to sabotage any progress or accomplishments I make. It’s like a kamikaze pilot dive-bombing my life for days, weeks, and months on end if I let it.”

Well folks, that’s Dennis.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an alter ego like Dennis. You know, the kind who lies hidden, ready to pounce when you least expect it…Ready to accuse, point a finger of blame, tell you why you can’t ______ (fill in the blank).

Taking steps of faith and completely ignoring that voice can sometimes seem impossible, but developing and consistently maintaining an empowering ritual for success can go a long way toward mastering it.

Off and on over the past several months I’ve been reading from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. While I won’t go into everything about his book in this post, at minimum I will lay out what he considers the six pillars of a healthy self-esteem:

1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I recently began delving into the second pillar, The Practice of Self-Acceptance. So many juicy nuggets of truth!

“Whereas self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Stated in the negative, self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” (p.90)

Let THAT one sink in!!! (Dennis, are ya listening???)

Not too long ago I was having a bad day and Dennis erupted out of hiding and decided to have his say. I found myself in front of a mirror, not picking myself apart, but BLASTING myself apart.

Hmmmmmm… Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself…

In times like this it is good to have developed and maintained some proper thinking habits beforehand.

Meditation, visualization, affirmations, positive self-talk…good stuff for sure.

How about feeding the good parts of myself instead of starving them?

There’s this song that came out awhile back that I really love. It’s called Let Me Take You Away by Jenn Cuneta. I scoured the internet to try to find the lyrics (fortunately they’re relatively easy to transcribe).

Let Me Take You Away is another one of those upbeat songs that I’ve included in my empowering ritual for success. I don’t know the background or exact meaning of the song, though I’m sure it’s about some kind of relationship.

On the surface the lyrics probably don’t sound very deep or meaningful. When I look in the mirror however, and tell them (or sing them Karaoke-style!) to myself, they take on a whole new, powerful meaning. 

And just to be clear, I ain’t talking to Dennis. I’m talking to that good part of me. The one who needs to be fed and to grow stronger.

(Translation for Dennis: This is an A and B conversation. You’re C. That’s short for C Ya, adios, take a hike.)

Do I sound like a nut? Certifiable for sure! :-)

My stab at the lyrics is below. I know there are spots where I’m probably totally off, but the message is still great Click here to listen to the song on Jenn’s MySpace page (a new window will open up, it’s the second song in her player).

You really have to listen and read along to the song to fully appreciate what I’m talking about!

Let Me Take You Away, Jenn Cuneta

I see you staring back at me
It’s like some crazy kind of chemistry.
You can’t disguise it.
You have that glare.
Like natural mystic floating through the air.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin.’

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

Been working hard, everyday.
Nobody listens to a word you say.

You want your fortune, yesterday.
It’s no illusion when you’re hungry for more.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feelings that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.
Let me take you away.

Don’t look away, you gotta be strong.
Don’t be afraid, no cause for alarm.
Feel the joy in your heart, in your soul.
Lose control.

Come with me.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Living this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

This can be a tough one, especially if you’re an analytical thinker like me.

How do you really set your mind in a way that’s lined up with that burning desire? What is burning desire anyway?

A few clues from Becoming Unstoppable by Ruben Gonzalez:

Belief…

“Belief is the driving force, the power behind all great accomplishments…Once you believe, you are ready to commit to taking action.”

Burning Desire…

“You have to have a dream - something you’re shooting for…How badly you want it will determine whether you’ll realize your dream because how bad you want it determines what will make you quit.”

Hmmmm…

Which came first…the chicken or the egg…belief or burning desire?

For an overly analytical person this could be a real nightmare, but I believe it takes faith in something completely unseen to make that kind of leap in your mind…the kind where the two (belief and burning desire) are not linear, but really free-form.

It’s like planting a seed in the ground. You have no idea if it will grow into anything. You just take it on faith (and sometimes someone else’s word) that it will.

Let’s take this empowering ritual for success. Who’s to say that it will work? That’s kind of tricky: if you stop, you certainly will never know. If you continue, well, you could know…maybe.

It’s like praying for something. You might never know if, when, or how the prayer was answered. You could know, but you have to be okay with perhaps not knowing. The prayer itself doesn’t hurt…just like telling yourself something that’s good or positive doesn’t hurt either.

Again, this could drive an overly analytical person crazy. But when the results start happening, who’s to say the beliefs, the desire, the ritual for success aren’t working?

While I think I’ve probably raised more questions than I’ve answered, I also feel (personally) great relief that having all the answers isn’t necessary. Taking the actions that build both the belief and the burning desire are.

And those truly are steps of faith.