In a world filled with busy activity and so many things to distract, it can be difficult to really settle down and just be quiet with myself.

I believe that my body, mind, and spirit have ways of getting my attention, as I wrote a little bit about recently in When the Journey Gets Dark…

As a point of clarification (if anything, for myself!), I wrote a friend this morning:

“…when it comes down to it, we all stand naked and alone before God.

“The ‘alone’ part is what is scary for most and what drives most to find fulfillment in things, people or experiences.

“Without the distractions of things, people, and experiences, life with only ourselves can be pretty unnerving. But I’m coming to understand and believe that this is where God is often revealed to us.”

(NOTE: I know this goes pretty deep for some and my intent definitely is NOT to alienate any readers who are not coming from a Christian, spiritual, or any kind of religious perspective. At the same time, I won’t deny or hold back my own Christian worldview, as it is an integral piece of my own journey.)

Alongside the distractions are the multitude of masks that I am capable of wearing. While the use is usually driven out of the need for self-protection, the result is usually almost always a distancing from my true self and my true potential.

For better or worse, and try as hard as I may, I really can’t divorce myself from myself. Wherever I go, there I am. I always have a choice is to how I will deal with the trappings of life and journey.

There is a selfish, bratty child named Eustace in C.S. Lewis’ “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” who, left to his own devices, underwent his own ugly transformation when he came across the treasure of a dead dragon…

“He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on the dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 97)

Awhile back a friend recommended a book that I’d put off reading for many months simply because of the title: “Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions.”

I (and I’m embarrassed to admit it) threw the word “addiction” under the category of substance abuse and shelved it away since I did not have any personal experience with substance abuse.

Well, I eventually picked up the book and was surprised with how helpful it was. Hardly touching on the subject of substance abuse at all, it provides an extremely well-rounded understanding of the nature of addiction - encompassing mind, body, and spirit.

As human beings, we ALL have addictions to and dependencies on something - including thoughts, habits, daily routines, ways of doing things, etc. - even the states of mind that create anger, frustration, and depression, as well as joy, bliss, and exhilaration. Most of it is unconscious.

“…images, memories, fantasies, ideas, concepts, and even certain feeling states can become objects of attachment…Perhaps we have also recognized that there are certain images of ourselves or concepts about the world that we somehow feel deeply forced to hold on to.”

(Gerald May, Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions, p. 25)

For me, coming to terms with my naked, unmasked, and unstripped self is the key to discovering who I truly am, as well as my potential…

“Then the lion said…’You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of its claws, I can tell you, but I was nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right to my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.

The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off…and there it was on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking…and there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch…”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 115-116

John Maxwell says “If you could see yourself in terms of your true potential, you wouldn’t recognize yourself.” (Talent is Never Enough, p. 16)

What lies beneath the layers could be truly amazing…and I know I for one have barely scratched the surface.

Pardon my procrastination over tackling the topic of separating self worth from performance. Of the 10 ways of handling discouragement on the way to success, this hits veeeeery close to home.

This one probably takes the most mental discipline too.

I am currently working on a plan and schedule for a business enterprise. I see everything in my mind and have gone so far as to write out several things in the form of goals and action steps.

But I haven’t gotten everything out the way I see it in my mind and I feel a little frustrated by that. Even with the few steps I have taken, I still find I’m judging myself pretty harshly.

Some of this just ties into learning to be realistic (see Handling Discouragement: Being Realistic).

But the other component ties into this concept of learning to separate self worth from performance.

Let’s face it, we’ve all been taught since an early age that positive performance gets rewarded, whether it’s good grades in school, sales from a presentation, or a promotion during a review.

But whether I do or don’t accomplish a goal, who I am at the core and my value as an individual never changes. I’m a human being, not a human doing.

I can’t increase my worth through achievement and I can’t take it away by non-achievement.

So what can I change? How about the level of my self-image, my self-esteem?

“High self-esteem seeks the challenge and stimulation of worthwhile and demanding goals.”

(Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, p. 6)

Instead of attempting to grab meaning, purpose, value, etc. from external cues (approval, love, acceptance, etc. for performance…much, if not all, is out of my control anyhow), I can grab it from the inside by the things I tell myself.

(For more on self talk, see Developing an Empowering Ritual - A Building Block for Transformation)

I took a telecourse last weekend called The Art and Science of Achieving Your Goals and Dreams. Part of my pre-course homework involved writing a life purpose statement, as well as a vision statement for my life (what my life would be like living at the peak of success and the achievement of my goals and dreams). I will share them both.

Purpose

“The purpose of my life is to learn and grow, inspiring others along the way, and showing them they too can do the same.”

Vision

“I am living a life of complete emotional freedom. I love myself and others freely and unconditionally. I have learned to master my thoughts and emotions in such a way that I’ve come to trust and honor myself and my abilities at a whole new level. I can state a goal and know I will reach it because I am congruent and honor my promises to myself. I accept all learning curves and have learned to be patient with myself and others as a result.

The aforementioned emotional freedom has enabled me to move into financial freedom. I am free to ask and receive. I can hold an intention with complete faith because I know it will come to pass. This has enabled me to exceed my financial targets. I am attracting money, business, and partnerships at increasing levels of speed and earn in excess of $________K a year.”

I launched this blog to find, reach out to, and connect with others on this level. I know there is great power to be found in accountability and I’ve already seen how some of you out there have been awakened to your own dreams and goals and have gotten that extra push to take your own steps of faith.

So with that said, “you know who” paid me a visit this week. Yes, that would be “Dennis.” (Refer to Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams to learn more about him!) I had been working toward a particular financial goal over the past couple of years and had somewhat of a setback in relation to it a few days ago.

These things happen.

Of the myriad reactions I had building in me, one of the more healthy responses was to talk about it here. After all, this is the before, during, and after story. In doing so I live out my chosen purpose in the present, and set the stage for achieving my vision in the future.

Even though what happened sucks (I won’t go into details yet), it’s pretty cool to realize it’s still working in my favor!

At some point faith always gets tested. Holding the course, especially during moments of discouragement, is the key to getting to the other side.

Can I hear an Amen?

I’m going to stay on this subject for a little bit, until it soaks in and becomes, er, habit!

Here are some things I’m committing to telling myself on a regular basis. You can call them affirmations, mantras, sayings, self talk…whatever works for you.

- I am a Champion.

- I have a great imagination and use it to help myself and others.

- I have the means to accomplish my goals.

- I am creating a life of passion, purpose, influence, and success.

- I am fluid and at ease when meeting people.

- I have laser focus.

- I am courageous when it comes to going after what I want.

- I have amazing drive.

- I am confident in my abilities.

- I am paid for the value I give.

Those are my starter thoughts. I could come up with tons more, but all in good time. KISS - Keeping it Sweet and Simple!

“Sow a thought, reap a habit; sow a habit; reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”

I’m not sure who said this for sure. One source I checked attributed it to Charles Reade. Another to Anonymous. Regardless, it’s good stuff and a great place to pick up where I left off.

Ahhhh, yes. Where I left off. Days ago.

The P&P Twins struck again…Procrastination and Perfectionism.

I’m back and this time I decided to pick an anchor

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