In a world filled with busy activity and so many things to distract, it can be difficult to really settle down and just be quiet with myself.

I believe that my body, mind, and spirit have ways of getting my attention, as I wrote a little bit about recently in When the Journey Gets Dark…

As a point of clarification (if anything, for myself!), I wrote a friend this morning:

“…when it comes down to it, we all stand naked and alone before God.

“The ‘alone’ part is what is scary for most and what drives most to find fulfillment in things, people or experiences.

“Without the distractions of things, people, and experiences, life with only ourselves can be pretty unnerving. But I’m coming to understand and believe that this is where God is often revealed to us.”

(NOTE: I know this goes pretty deep for some and my intent definitely is NOT to alienate any readers who are not coming from a Christian, spiritual, or any kind of religious perspective. At the same time, I won’t deny or hold back my own Christian worldview, as it is an integral piece of my own journey.)

Alongside the distractions are the multitude of masks that I am capable of wearing. While the use is usually driven out of the need for self-protection, the result is usually almost always a distancing from my true self and my true potential.

For better or worse, and try as hard as I may, I really can’t divorce myself from myself. Wherever I go, there I am. I always have a choice is to how I will deal with the trappings of life and journey.

There is a selfish, bratty child named Eustace in C.S. Lewis’ “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” who, left to his own devices, underwent his own ugly transformation when he came across the treasure of a dead dragon…

“He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on the dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 97)

Awhile back a friend recommended a book that I’d put off reading for many months simply because of the title: “Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions.”

I (and I’m embarrassed to admit it) threw the word “addiction” under the category of substance abuse and shelved it away since I did not have any personal experience with substance abuse.

Well, I eventually picked up the book and was surprised with how helpful it was. Hardly touching on the subject of substance abuse at all, it provides an extremely well-rounded understanding of the nature of addiction - encompassing mind, body, and spirit.

As human beings, we ALL have addictions to and dependencies on something - including thoughts, habits, daily routines, ways of doing things, etc. - even the states of mind that create anger, frustration, and depression, as well as joy, bliss, and exhilaration. Most of it is unconscious.

“…images, memories, fantasies, ideas, concepts, and even certain feeling states can become objects of attachment…Perhaps we have also recognized that there are certain images of ourselves or concepts about the world that we somehow feel deeply forced to hold on to.”

(Gerald May, Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions, p. 25)

For me, coming to terms with my naked, unmasked, and unstripped self is the key to discovering who I truly am, as well as my potential…

“Then the lion said…’You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of its claws, I can tell you, but I was nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right to my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.

The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off…and there it was on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking…and there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch…”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 115-116

John Maxwell says “If you could see yourself in terms of your true potential, you wouldn’t recognize yourself.” (Talent is Never Enough, p. 16)

What lies beneath the layers could be truly amazing…and I know I for one have barely scratched the surface.

When it comes to adopting new habits, beliefs, and ways of thinking, it comes down to , quite literally, a matter of growing a new brain.

For many decades, scientists and biologists believed that the brains we were born with were not capable of growth or expansion. If sections of the brain were damaged through traumas such as accidents or strokes, it was pretty much tough luck, according to the experts.

But thankfully, through the persistent investigation of scientists, researchers, and average everyday lay people, it has been discovered and proven that the brain is quite capable of expansion, growth, healing, and change.

This is great news for everyone!

For a long time the brain was viewed as a machine that was "hardwired" and unchangeable.

A friend and reader of this blog recently turned me on to a book called "The Brain That Changes Itself," by Norman Doidge, MD. Dr. Doidge chronicles the stories of people who have investigated what has come to be known as "brain plasticity."

"At first many of the scientists didn’t dare use the word ‘neuroplasticity’ in their publications, and their peers belittled them for promoting a fanciful notion. Yet they persisted, slowly overturning the doctrine of the unchanging brain.

They showed that children are not always stuck with the mental abilities they are born with; that the damaged brain can often reorganize itself so that when one part fails, another can often substitute; that if brain cells die, they can at times be replaced; that many ‘circuits’ and even basic reflexes that we think are hardwired are not."

(Norman Doidge, M.D., The Brain That Changes Itself, p. xix)

I think one of the greatest dangers in this world is not terrorism, war, or disease…it’s a closed mind. I’ve seen a mind like this - rigid, unyielding, unteachable, legalistic - leave a path of despair, hurt, and confusion in its wake.

Friendships have been lost, businesses have folded, and lives have been ruined because of people who have been unwilling to open their minds, think out of the box, or view things from a different perspective.

I propose that no matter where any of us are today, we can change ourselves. I would not be writing this blog if I did not believe it possible. 

But it all comes down to taking responsibility for the change. Even if I walk down to my local church, pray the sinner’s prayer, and get dunked in a baptismal tank, I am responsible for walking out that change in daily living!

Nothing comes without effort. Ask any Olympian!

I don’t know about you, but the moment I decide that I want to change something in my life, all of my resistance sets in.

I had a Sheltie growing up and it always cracked me up whenever I pulled her chain hard to come with me. She would always pull back. We’re talking full-out resistance and totally digging her paws in the ground so as not to budge! 

I remember times I would pull her leash hard on purpose just to watch her do it. It never failed. She would aways fight me!

The best approach was to gently coax her and lightly pull her leash. She would always go where I wanted when I handled her that way!

“As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.”

(Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, p. 416)

I firmly believe it’s possible to do almost anything I set my mind to. It’s the “setting my mind to” part that’s the most challenging! This requires cooperation and gentle coaxing with myself. The forced approach rarely works.

You see, when I set my mind to doing something new or unfamiliar, I dig my own “paws” in the ground to resist moving forward.

Several years ago I was invited to help facilitate a workshop designed to assist attendees in breaking through the things that held them back. I figured I should probably do my own homework on that subject and decided to spend the day walking around busy areas of town and practice introducing myself to and talking with strangers.

The thought of doing this practically put me in a state of paralysis.

How did I get past that? I began imagining myself meeting people and having a great experience doing it. I began developing a positive picture in my mind of what I was going to do and then I just started doing it.

I had a blast!

So what am I talking about here? My beliefs about who I am and what I can do are malleable rather than fixed. They can change.

Imagination, visualization, meditation, affirmations…these are all methods of gently coaxing my new beliefs forward until they become part of me. New behaviors are sure to follow.

Give it a try!

I have an alter ego. His name is Dennis.

In my post, The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change, I wrote, “there’s a side of me that seeks to sabotage any progress or accomplishments I make. It’s like a kamikaze pilot dive-bombing my life for days, weeks, and months on end if I let it.”

Well folks, that’s Dennis.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an alter ego like Dennis. You know, the kind who lies hidden, ready to pounce when you least expect it…Ready to accuse, point a finger of blame, tell you why you can’t ______ (fill in the blank).

Taking steps of faith and completely ignoring that voice can sometimes seem impossible, but developing and consistently maintaining an empowering ritual for success can go a long way toward mastering it.

Off and on over the past several months I’ve been reading from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. While I won’t go into everything about his book in this post, at minimum I will lay out what he considers the six pillars of a healthy self-esteem:

1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I recently began delving into the second pillar, The Practice of Self-Acceptance. So many juicy nuggets of truth!

“Whereas self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Stated in the negative, self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” (p.90)

Let THAT one sink in!!! (Dennis, are ya listening???)

Not too long ago I was having a bad day and Dennis erupted out of hiding and decided to have his say. I found myself in front of a mirror, not picking myself apart, but BLASTING myself apart.

Hmmmmmm… Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself…

In times like this it is good to have developed and maintained some proper thinking habits beforehand.

Meditation, visualization, affirmations, positive self-talk…good stuff for sure.

How about feeding the good parts of myself instead of starving them?

There’s this song that came out awhile back that I really love. It’s called Let Me Take You Away by Jenn Cuneta. I scoured the internet to try to find the lyrics (fortunately they’re relatively easy to transcribe).

Let Me Take You Away is another one of those upbeat songs that I’ve included in my empowering ritual for success. I don’t know the background or exact meaning of the song, though I’m sure it’s about some kind of relationship.

On the surface the lyrics probably don’t sound very deep or meaningful. When I look in the mirror however, and tell them (or sing them Karaoke-style!) to myself, they take on a whole new, powerful meaning. 

And just to be clear, I ain’t talking to Dennis. I’m talking to that good part of me. The one who needs to be fed and to grow stronger.

(Translation for Dennis: This is an A and B conversation. You’re C. That’s short for C Ya, adios, take a hike.)

Do I sound like a nut? Certifiable for sure! :-)

My stab at the lyrics is below. I know there are spots where I’m probably totally off, but the message is still great Click here to listen to the song on Jenn’s MySpace page (a new window will open up, it’s the second song in her player).

You really have to listen and read along to the song to fully appreciate what I’m talking about!

Let Me Take You Away, Jenn Cuneta

I see you staring back at me
It’s like some crazy kind of chemistry.
You can’t disguise it.
You have that glare.
Like natural mystic floating through the air.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin.’

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

Been working hard, everyday.
Nobody listens to a word you say.

You want your fortune, yesterday.
It’s no illusion when you’re hungry for more.

It doesn’t matter what you say, but what you do.
It’s true.
Your eyes are telling me you want to lose control.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feelings that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.
Let me take you away.

Don’t look away, you gotta be strong.
Don’t be afraid, no cause for alarm.
Feel the joy in your heart, in your soul.
Lose control.

Come with me.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Livin’ this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what it is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.
Everybody needs a friend to believe in.

Let me take you away.
Living this is so much better than dreamin’.

Let me tell you the feeling that I have you should know.
And you feel it everywhere that you go.

Let me take you away.
Let me give you what is that you’re needin’.

Let me take you away.

I admit I’m more of a Dancing with the Stars fan than an American Idol follower, so I discovered “Change” by Kimberley Locke while listening to an online club music station. There’s something about the words and the way she sings them that speaks right to me.

They lift me up.

And no wonder. Here’s what she said about the song in an interview:

“I wrote that song for the album [Based on a True Story] when I was actually at the end of a not-so-great relationship that I had been in. I was engaged to be married and it was perpetually getting worse, and by the time I wrote this song I was ready to make a change in my life, and that’s what this song is all about.

The song is about either you’re going to change and we’re going to fix this or I’m going without you and I’m making a change regardless.

Currently in my life the song has a totally different meaning because, I’m doing Celebrity Fit Club and so it’s about making a change in my life personally, just for me, moving into a different aspect of my career and taking a different outlook on my own personal life.” (Interviewed by DJ Ron Slomowicz for about.com)

It’s no wonder the song resonated with me.

Here are the lyrics:

Sorry for what I forgot to say
But you know how words get in the way baby, lately
Wasn’t strong enough to cut right through
All the red tape between me and you, baby
Time escapes me

What’s it gonna take to shake these blues
Pushing through the clouds just to get to you
Can’t hold back the storm that’s blowing through, yeah

I feel a change, babe, washing over me
I feel the rains, babe, coming to set me free
It’s a one way track, ain’t coming back
This train’s about to leave
I feel a change coming over me

Never noticed that it’s kind of strange
Same story but a different day lately, oh baby
Gotta get up, gotta change the scene
Gotta rip this page from the magazine

(I feel a change, babe) Change washing over me
(I feel the rains, babe) I feel the rains, yeah, coming to set me free
It’s a one way track, I ain’t ever coming back
(This train’s about to leave) This train’s about to leave, yeah
I feel a change coming over me, yeah

I ain’t trying to be difficult, no no
I ain’t trying to be mean
I just gotta do right now
What’s best for me, oh

(I feel a change, babe) Something’s changing, baby, deep inside of me
(I feel the rains, babe) I feel the rains coming down to set me free
(It’s a one way track) I ain’t ever going back
(This train’s about to leave) If you wanna go, baby, this train’s gonna leave
(I feel a change) There’s a change coming over me, yeah

Oh, yeah
I feel a, I feel a change coming over me
Rain washing down on me
Coming to set me free, baby
I feel a change, yeah
I feel a change, yeah
A one way track
I ain’t never coming back
This train’s about to leave, baby
I feel a change, yeah

So yes, I (David) feel a change coming over me. This train’s about to leave and head down a new track. Today I’m stepping out into some new territory and I’m a little scared. Okay. A LOT scared.

So as I listen to “Change”, adding it to my empowering ritual for success, I repeat my own personal affirmations…

- I am a Champion.

- I have a great imagination and use it to help myself and others.

- I have the means to accomplish my goals.

- I am creating a life of passion, purpose, influence, and success.

- I am fluid and at ease when meeting people.

- I have laser focus.

- I am courageous when it comes to going after what I want.

- I have amazing drive.

- I am confident in my abilities.

- I am paid for the value I give.

I’m going to stay on this subject for a little bit, until it soaks in and becomes, er, habit!

Here are some things I’m committing to telling myself on a regular basis. You can call them affirmations, mantras, sayings, self talk…whatever works for you.

- I am a Champion.

- I have a great imagination and use it to help myself and others.

- I have the means to accomplish my goals.

- I am creating a life of passion, purpose, influence, and success.

- I am fluid and at ease when meeting people.

- I have laser focus.

- I am courageous when it comes to going after what I want.

- I have amazing drive.

- I am confident in my abilities.

- I am paid for the value I give.

Those are my starter thoughts. I could come up with tons more, but all in good time. KISS - Keeping it Sweet and Simple!

“Sow a thought, reap a habit; sow a habit; reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”

I’m not sure who said this for sure. One source I checked attributed it to Charles Reade. Another to Anonymous. Regardless, it’s good stuff and a great place to pick up where I left off.

Ahhhh, yes. Where I left off. Days ago.

The P&P Twins struck again…Procrastination and Perfectionism.

I’m back and this time I decided to pick an anchor

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Several years ago I read an article by Robert G. Allen. A quote from that article has stayed with me ever since: “What if someone offered you ten million dollars to turn your life around right now? How much would it take for you to be motivated to perfect your relationships, to get in shape, to get your financial act together, to be a top salesperson, etc? What if you decided that YOU ARE THE BEFORE AND AFTER STORY?” What an intriguing

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