Ever wish you could go back in time and do something over, differently, or maybe not at all? I know I have.

“Failure is an opportunity to begin again, but more intelligently.”

John Maxwell

And hindsight has 20/20 vision…

As human beings we have the great and magnificent ability to learn from our mistakes. So like it or not, failing, falling down, screwing up…it’s all part of the learning experience.

But what about this notion of time travel? I mean seriously, why not fix ourselves that way?

Hey now…I’m serious!

I may not be able to go back in time, but I can sure go forward…in my imagination.

I was inspired recently by an article I read in my health club’s fitness magazine. It was about a book called “Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True.”

I haven’t read the book, but I found the article about it extremely helpful. Here’s a snip…

“Imagine looking back on your life from your deathbed and identifying the important things that might have kept your experience in this lifetime from being a complete, totally satisfying experience…translate each major regret (’I wish I had experienced A or accomplished B or not screwed up C’) into a positive, powerful, present-tense statement - a statement that would be true, assuming you created successes in the areas you currently feel lacking. For example: “My life is a total success because I have experienced A, or I am enjoying B, or I have come to understand C.”

Pilar Gerasimo, “No Show, No Glow”
Experience Life Magazine, p. 12

This past week I pictured myself being interviewed in the future. I was at the height of success and people wanted to know how I achieved it:

1. What were my biggest challenges?
2. When did things turn around for me?
3. What did I do?

When I finished I felt like I’d come off of a mountaintop somewhere. My vision was clearer and I felt like I understood my purpose better.

And I had a greater sense of what steps I needed to take to ensure I was answering those same questions the same way in the future.

I will share the answers in my next post about developing a passion…

I owe it to my Scotish roots… When it comes to poking fun, teasing, laughing, pulling pranks, or falling over until my sides split, the laughter gene runs deep in me.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people and the fastest way to get perspective.”

(John Maxwell, The Maxwell Leadership Bible, p. 910)

I went to a Tony Robbins event years ago. There were thousands of people in the huge convention hall, and at one point Tony had everyone laying on the floor for an exercise.

It was a laughing exercise.

Yes, laughing. We just had to start laughing…for no reason at all.

(If you think that sounds ridiculous or impossible, try it! Just start laughing. C’mon…give it a try! You know you want to!)

The laughter in that hall went on and on for probably a good 20 minutes or more. And then when it would start to die out, someone would catch a new infection of the giggles and it would start all over again.

Have you ever been wound up, tight as rubber band, tense about something, and then something strikes your funny bone?

Maybe someone cracked a joke or made some crazy comment.

And then all of a sudden the tension melts away in uproarious laughter.

That’s what I’m talking about.

For me, there’s something about laughter in particular that just makes everything seem okay and practically erases anything that has been bothering me.

When used properly, emotions can be a powerful tool. They can totally disrupt a bad thought pattern. (Ummmm…shall we say something like discouragement?)

Had I not done that laughing exercise at the Tony Robbins event I don’t think I’d believe it possible to just turn laughter off and on like that.

I’m not a physicist, chemist, biologist, or scientist, but I think there is some kind of chemical reaction going on between my brain, thoughts, and emotions.

Those positive thoughts have to be linked to some kind of “feel good” chemicals in my body.

I mean seriously, isn’t that why companies pay gobs and gobs of money on advertising? They want people to feel good about their products so they’ll buy them. People don’t buy logically. They buy emotionally.

This is why I like dance music so much. It makes me feel great and listening to it is one of the fastest ways I can change my emotional state.

So take some time to laugh, okay? And if you’re too chicken because there are others around you, crack a grin and let it widen to a full-on smile.

C’mon. Stop being such a baby…do it!

I doubt there has been any baby in the history of the world who burst out of the womb knowing everything.

From the moment we take that first breath we are learning and adapting.

Learning to walk took a lot of stumbling and falling first.

How about, er, learning to manage those bodily functions at appropriate times?

Think about the first time you hopped on that bike…and promptly fell over.

I don’t think perfection has ever been best friends with learning.

Even though I can be a terrible offender when it comes to perfectionism, deep down I know the only way to learn is to give myself permission to make mistakes without going down on myself when I screw up.

So it is when I’m reaching for any type of goal.

Rarely does it go perfectly.

As long I learn from the process, get up, and keep moving ahead until I reach what I want, the destination will be attained.

NOTE: It’s always best to remain FLEXIBLE. Sometimes goals need to be amended, a vision enlarged, or plans altered based on new information learned!

I think the following by Portia Nelson is somewhat of a classic. Definitely a good metaphor for being flexible. It’s called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters”…

Chapter 1. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5. I walk down another street.

Following up Holding to Belief, Vision, and Purpose in Times of Discouragement, I found some great wisdom and insight from John Maxwell on the topic of handling setbacks when moving toward a goal:

The key question on your bad day is: Are you going to give up or get up? And how can you get up?

1.   Rise above self-pity.
2.   Think positively.
3.   Learn from your experiences.
4.   Seek alternatives.
5.   Develop a sense of humor.
6.   Be realistic.
7.   Establish new goals.
8.   Develop a passion.
9.   Broaden your base of support.
10. Separate your self-worth from your performance.

(From “The Maxwell Leadership Bible,” p. 910)

Setbacks are part of life. I’ll admit I haven’t always been a star performer when it comes to rolling with the punches of adversity, but I’ve held my ground more times than not. And I’ve never gone down for the count…at least not permanently!

I took a telecourse last weekend called The Art and Science of Achieving Your Goals and Dreams. Part of my pre-course homework involved writing a life purpose statement, as well as a vision statement for my life (what my life would be like living at the peak of success and the achievement of my goals and dreams). I will share them both.

Purpose

“The purpose of my life is to learn and grow, inspiring others along the way, and showing them they too can do the same.”

Vision

“I am living a life of complete emotional freedom. I love myself and others freely and unconditionally. I have learned to master my thoughts and emotions in such a way that I’ve come to trust and honor myself and my abilities at a whole new level. I can state a goal and know I will reach it because I am congruent and honor my promises to myself. I accept all learning curves and have learned to be patient with myself and others as a result.

The aforementioned emotional freedom has enabled me to move into financial freedom. I am free to ask and receive. I can hold an intention with complete faith because I know it will come to pass. This has enabled me to exceed my financial targets. I am attracting money, business, and partnerships at increasing levels of speed and earn in excess of $________K a year.”

I launched this blog to find, reach out to, and connect with others on this level. I know there is great power to be found in accountability and I’ve already seen how some of you out there have been awakened to your own dreams and goals and have gotten that extra push to take your own steps of faith.

So with that said, “you know who” paid me a visit this week. Yes, that would be “Dennis.” (Refer to Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams to learn more about him!) I had been working toward a particular financial goal over the past couple of years and had somewhat of a setback in relation to it a few days ago.

These things happen.

Of the myriad reactions I had building in me, one of the more healthy responses was to talk about it here. After all, this is the before, during, and after story. In doing so I live out my chosen purpose in the present, and set the stage for achieving my vision in the future.

Even though what happened sucks (I won’t go into details yet), it’s pretty cool to realize it’s still working in my favor!

At some point faith always gets tested. Holding the course, especially during moments of discouragement, is the key to getting to the other side.

Can I hear an Amen?

For a long time now I’ve been intrigued by people who grow through life’s challenges instead of getting snowed under by them.  A lot of these, what I call “transformations,” look like they happened because of (or even during)

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