Coming across someone who has brought their life to a screeching halt can be a scary thing sometimes. As human beings I firmly believe we are meant to always be moving, growing, learning, changing, and though it sounds strange, evolving.

Personally, I don’t think we’re meant to just “hang out” here, biding time through our entire existence.

I know that when I put everything on hold and ignore the signals of movement and growth that are happening inside me I can become very depressed, almost despairing.

It’s especially keen when I know and feel that it is a higher calling stirring within me.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, it is all too easy to put off, hit the snooze button, or utterly ignore those whispers of meaning and purpose that are always beckoning the human soul to its higher purpose.

There are so many distractions available, so many ways to dull the message coming toward me.

When I continually ignore the message, this other side of me manifests. Affectionately (or not so), this entity known as “Dennis” (see Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams) comes equipped with his own beliefs, habits, imagination, and will. And subsequently, he rules as if there is no other reality.

C.S. Lewis beautifully depicts a similar manifestation in his book, “The Silver Chair.” A prince is captured by an evil queen and put under an enchantment that transforms him into a conceited, self-absorbed…jerk.

He must be bound in a chair, however, during times when the enchantment is lifted and his “right mind” comes back to him.

While under the spell, he has everyone convinced that he is who he says he is and the other, true self, is the bad guy, the one to keep bound up.

“Listen while I am master of myself. When the fit is upon me, it well may be that I shall beg and implore you, with entreaties and threatenings, to loosen my bonds…I shall call upon you by all that is most dear and most dreadful. But do not listen to me…For while I am bound you are safe. But if once I were up and out of this chair, then first would come my fury, and after that” - he shuddered - “the change into a loathsome serpent.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 170)

One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

I believe this to be both a very profound and very accurate statement.

But for the “spells” that I and many others put themselves under, there is so much that we could probably accomplish. Instead, many of us find ourselves like Ulysses in Homer’s Odyssey, in danger of crashing against the rocks by the enticing song of the Sirens that attempts to pull us away from the journey and our destiny.

Thankfully the spell lifts, the danger passes, and the right mind is returned to once again call the sojourner forward.

“Have they told you that if I am released from this chair I shall kill you and become a serpent? I see by your faces that they have. It is a lie. It is at this hour that I am in my right mind.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 172)

I am fully capable of convincing myself and the world around me that I am someone else when I am in the “Dennis” mindset. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he ain’t a very attractive guy. In fact, he’s a counterfeit to all that is good, true, and noble within me.

And as they say, like attracts like.

And for those who either love or hate the book and/or movie “The Secret,” this is what I’m talking about. The kids in C.S. Lewis’ book couldn’t stand the prince when he was under the spell.

There is a lot to be said for being grounded in one’s true self.

A good friend of mine recently shared something remarkable with me. I had sent him an email sharing some of the internal challenges I was dealing with and their seemingly (to me) lack of purpose or meaning. He said the email and the difficulties I described blessed him.

While this leg of my journey seemed to have no value whatsoever to me, it had great value to my friend.

It made me wonder.

Perhaps the life I live isn’t for me or about me at all. Perhaps it is lived for others to see.

And here’s something else I’ve heard over and over again from multitude of places:

Whatever I focus on grows.

I like what the Bible says about it:

“…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

I’ve heard stories of concentration camp survivors who lived through horrendous experiences by practicing that principal…

“The intensification of inner life helped the prisoner find a refuge from the emptiness, desolation and spiritual poverty of his existence…”

“Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally, therefore, man can even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

(Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, p. 50, 75)

It’s amazing how quickly my state of mind changes when I change my focus. It compounds when I combine it with some type of activity - for example, writing. Not introspective, depressing writing, but writing that lifts me up and connects me with a greater purpose…

…perhaps even a life lived in front of others.

Everyone with a sense of mission or purpose in life will probably hit a time when they question the journey. They might even reach a point where the intensity of it makes them feel like they’re losing their minds.

“Dark night of the soul” is an expression I’ve heard many times along my Christian journey. It originates from a poem of the same name written in the 16th century by a priest known as Saint John of the Cross.

I won’t get too much into the poem because I myself haven’t read it, but the premise and the meaning of the phrase is this:

We are all are capable of, and most likely will go through, periods of darkness, difficulty, confusion, etc. on our way to maturity in whatever area we are journeying through.

In the Christian sense, it’s the spiritual journey through life on earth to full union with God.

I’ve been through dark nights several times in my life and I can say that that the distinctions, understandings, and wisdom that is gained through the experience cannot be matched or gained any other way.

It’s ironic that my last post was on mastering the game of life. Unsuccessfully navigating through dark times can surely take anyone out of the game permanently…whether life, love, relationships, career, business, or any other endeavor or worthwhile pursuit.

In doing a little research into the subject of the dark night of the soul, I learned that even Mother Teresa went through a period of severe doubt…for over 50 years.

“Where is my faith? Even deep down … there is nothing but emptiness and darkness … If there be God—please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul … How painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith. Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal, … What do I labor for? If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true.”

(Mother Teresa, “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light”)

I think the popular song “No Air” poignantly describes these feelings of emptiness that Mother Teresa describes (lyrics at the end of the post). Obviously it’s a love ballad, but also a very authentic one that I believe anyone can relate to. Just replace the object of affection with any kind of pursuit. Watch below or here.

“So how do you expect me to live alone with just me?”

It has taken me a long time to write this post. I think I started it over a month ago, shortly after I was hit pretty hard with that empty feeling. I found myself curled up in the dark, crying for who knows how long. Yep, I said it! Crying.

At the bottom of every painful, frustrating period I go through lies my true authentic self waiting to be revealed. A friend of mine used to say something to the effect that difficulties not only make character, they reveal it. That’s very profound. Oswald Chambers puts it another way:

“Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me.”

(Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, June 25)

Underneath all the pains and struggles of life lies the person capable of handling them. These include not only hardships, but also the stretching, pruning, and weaning that accompanies the journey toward any kind of achievement, mission, goal, or purpose.

More to come…

No Air, Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?

[Jordin]
If I should die before I wake
It’s cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh

[Chris]
I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin]
But how
Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

[Chris]
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew,
Right off the ground to flow to you
There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real

[Jordin]
But somehow I’m still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don’t know how but I don’t even care

[Both]
So how do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

No more

No air

Baby

There’s no air, no air

Hey, oOoOo

Oooooooooooooh

[Chorus-Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
[Jordin]
(Do you expect me, to live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you, It’s so hard for me to breathe)

[Both]
Tell me how I’m supposed to breath with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air

[Outro-Both]
Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me?

If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe

There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air,

No air

I took a telecourse last weekend called The Art and Science of Achieving Your Goals and Dreams. Part of my pre-course homework involved writing a life purpose statement, as well as a vision statement for my life (what my life would be like living at the peak of success and the achievement of my goals and dreams). I will share them both.

Purpose

“The purpose of my life is to learn and grow, inspiring others along the way, and showing them they too can do the same.”

Vision

“I am living a life of complete emotional freedom. I love myself and others freely and unconditionally. I have learned to master my thoughts and emotions in such a way that I’ve come to trust and honor myself and my abilities at a whole new level. I can state a goal and know I will reach it because I am congruent and honor my promises to myself. I accept all learning curves and have learned to be patient with myself and others as a result.

The aforementioned emotional freedom has enabled me to move into financial freedom. I am free to ask and receive. I can hold an intention with complete faith because I know it will come to pass. This has enabled me to exceed my financial targets. I am attracting money, business, and partnerships at increasing levels of speed and earn in excess of $________K a year.”

I launched this blog to find, reach out to, and connect with others on this level. I know there is great power to be found in accountability and I’ve already seen how some of you out there have been awakened to your own dreams and goals and have gotten that extra push to take your own steps of faith.

So with that said, “you know who” paid me a visit this week. Yes, that would be “Dennis.” (Refer to Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams to learn more about him!) I had been working toward a particular financial goal over the past couple of years and had somewhat of a setback in relation to it a few days ago.

These things happen.

Of the myriad reactions I had building in me, one of the more healthy responses was to talk about it here. After all, this is the before, during, and after story. In doing so I live out my chosen purpose in the present, and set the stage for achieving my vision in the future.

Even though what happened sucks (I won’t go into details yet), it’s pretty cool to realize it’s still working in my favor!

At some point faith always gets tested. Holding the course, especially during moments of discouragement, is the key to getting to the other side.

Can I hear an Amen?