There’s a cable channel whose tagline is “We Know Drama.” I crack up every time I hear it. If there’s anyone out there who has a corner on the drama market, it’s the human soul.

I like this exchange between Jerry Maguire and Dorothy Boyd in the movie “Jerry Maguire”…

Jerry: It was laziness, my breakup with Avery.

Dorothy: It doesn’t just happen. Somebody is always to blame.

Jerry: You work at it like you do a job.

Dorothy: Maybe, love shouldn’t be such hard work.

Jerry: Yeah, maybe so. But it’s not every day you say goodbye to a woman like that.

Dorothy: I know what you mean. It wasn’t like my marriage to Roger was any good, even before …

Jerry: Before…?

Dorothy: Jerry… Let’s not tell our sad stories.

“Seeing oneself as a victim is an element in many egoic patterns, such as complaining, being offended, outraged, and so on.

Of course, once I am identified with the story in which I assigned myself the role of victim, I don’t want it to end…If no one will listen to my sad story, I can tell it to myself in my head, over and over, and feel sorry for myself, and so have an identity as someone who is being treated unfairly by life or other people, fate or God.”

(Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, p. 89-90)

While pondering the subject of identification, I came across this oldie the other day. You gotta love those love ballads from the ’70’s and ’80’s! I’ve spared everyone the original…this is an updated version!

All Out of Love, Air Supply (performed by Jenna Drey)

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can’t hold on
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I recently started listening to Oprah’s A New Earth webcast with Eckhart Tolle. Tolle’s book, “A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” has become quite popular as a result of the Oprah series.

While I don’t agree with a lot of his scriptural interpretations, I’ve never been one to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I found his discussion of the ego particularly helpful.

When he used the example of the child who cries when his toy is taken away from him, the light bulbs went off:

“The reason why such acute suffering occurs is concealed in the word ‘my,’ and it is structural…One of the most basic mind structures through which the ego comes into existence is identification.

The word ‘identification’ is derived from the Latin word idem, meaning ’same’ and facere, which means ‘to make.’ So when I identify with something, I ‘make it the same.’ The same as what? The same as I. I endow it with a sense of self, and so it becomes part of my ‘identity.’

One of the most basic levels of identification is with things: My toy later becomes my car, my house, my clothes, and so on.”

(Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, p. 34-35)

Material items aren’t the only things capable of creating strong points of identification. Careers, group affiliations, social standing, beliefs of any kind…these can all hold similar power. And when they’re lost or displaced, well, all hell can break loose.

A lot of people (myself included) tend to define themselves in terms of their personal history: successes and failures, achievements and setbacks, education, family, relationships, jobs, etc. 

Admittedly, the nature of time and my own physical body provide a pretty compelling argument that who I am today, indeed all that I am, is soley the culmination of my past and present. What else is there?

But lately I’ve come to realize there’s more to it than that.

If I go with the premise that yesterday and today is all there is, then life (for me at least) would be truly meaningless.

However, coming from both a spiritual and Christian perspective, I believe that all human beings have an eternal nature to them and therefore simultaneously exist in the future as well. 

Taking it a step further to account for this future true and eternal self opens a multitude of possibilities.

This concept is something I’ve been resisting for quite some time too. “Resisting” sounds a little weak. I’ve been pretty much fighting against the notion.

Whatever the reason, my defenses have been pretty strong. It probably means there is something really important on the other side of that wall.

But while my defenses are strong, I kind of doubt that storming or blasting the wall away is the answer. Truthfully, I think all that’s required is to just plain ‘ole walk through the wall.

Translation: it’s a faith transaction rather than an intellectual one.

I’ve had a handful of moments over the past several months where I’ve gotten an inkling of what’s on the other side of the wall.

I remember a couple of times when this feeling of peace came out of nowhere. I had the impression that no matter how the story looked at the present time, the ending was still good. I wasn’t reading or doing anything at the moment that would have triggered that feeling. It literally came out of the blue.

While those felt like “God” moments, there were other times where the impression felt less like God and more like, well, me. And this is where it might sound a little weird. It wasn’t me today, but me somewhere in the future…the future on the other side of that wall…if I chose to walk through it in faith.

I’m going to segway a little with an insight that Tony Robbins gives in regards to the art of race car driving:

“The number-one fundamental they teach in driving is: Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear…Drivers know that you go where you look; you travel the direction of your focus. If you resist your fear, have faith, and focus on where you want to go, your actions will take you in that direction.”
(Awaken the Giant Within, p. 161)

A number of years ago I attended a seminar where I had the opportunity to break a board with my bare hand. The key to breaking it, however, was not found in physical strength or sheer will power. It was in quietly first seeing (in my mind’s eye) my hand go through the board, and then just doing it.

Everyone who tried to break the board through brute strength failed, to the point where some even hurt themselves.

Focusing on the wall, the barrier, the fear…this doesn’t seem to work. Changing the focus to what’s on the other side of it, well that seems to be the trick.

There comes a point, however, where intellect (personal history) must be left behind in favor of embracing a truth that cannot be seen by the naked eye and which has no rational, intellectual means for being.

Hmmmmm…something to think about.

So, on behalf of my future true self, and in honor of passing through that wall, here’s something from Mon A Q that’s had a lot of meaning for me lately (lyrics below):

 “It’s My Turn,” Mon A Q

There was a time
Didn’t think i could make it
One more day
I never thought
I could take this all the way
Shared my love
With anybody in need
I found the courage
I need for me
I’m gonna sing my song

And it’s my turn
I’m here to take it
Get outta my way
’cause i’ve gotta make it
It’s my turn
Got to keep on pushin’
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher
And it’s my turn
And nobody else
Gonna take it away
Is gonna take this away
And it’s my turn
I know i deserve it
I’m headin’ higher
And higher and higher

There was a love we had
I thought would never ever end
You were my lover
But now you’re not even my friend
I’ve wasted my time
Coulda been shoulda been
Livin my own dreams
No no no it’s not too late

Now i’m singin’ for me

I can’t wait
I can’t stop
I’ve got to give love
All i’ve got
What i do
I do just for me

Thomas Edison once said, “If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves.”

So why is it so hard sometimes to take that leap of faith and just do it?

Well, I’ve come to understand that as a human being, both my mind and body are incredibly adept at keeping everything in balance in accordance with my beliefs.

In fact, stress is a key signal to the body that something is off.

.

“Both Eastern and Western medical sciences have long understood that maintaining natural balances is the body’s greatest priority; if the systems of the body are going to work at all, they must work together in harmony. When equilibrium is thrown off balance, the result is stress…Stress includes both the alarm responses that signal imbalance and the coping mechanisms that seek restoration of equilibrium.”

(Gerald May, Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions, p. 73)

And haven’t we all experienced stress, along with that drive to get things back to “normal?”

Last month I had a (somewhat) funny situation happen to me. I was sitting at my desk working on something when I heard a little noise by my window. I looked up and there sitting on the sill, staring right at me through the blinds was a little mouse. And yes, it was inside.

Our eyes locked for probably a minute or more. I didn’t want to move for fear it would leave the sill and come all the way into my bedroom. But as you might suspect, it eventually scampered all the way in.

Years ago I had a problem with a mouse in a previous home. All those memories came flooding back into my brain: the endless scratching noises that would keep me up at night, holes and droppings discovered throughout the house, buying and setting traps everywhere…all of which seemed to go on for a very long time.

So what was happening in me at the moment that little guy scurried into my (now) much smaller living space was nothing short of panic. Things were definitely out of balance and I wanted that creature out of my place YESTERDAY!

Traps were set and the mouse was caught within about 24 hours, but I will tell you that my entire being was in a state of alert until it was over.

While this is kind of a silly, amusing example, stress signals like this - mild to severe - typically accompany the individual who is moving into new or unfamiliar territory - whether it’s starting a new job, trying out a new sport, or learning a new skill.

And how much more so when the person is actually trying to change or develop some aspect of their identity, perhaps leaving behind old, entrenched patterns of thinking and behaving?

It’s kind of like the rubber band effect - the impulse is to snap back into the old, familiar “shape.”

In a world filled with busy activity and so many things to distract, it can be difficult to really settle down and just be quiet with myself.

I believe that my body, mind, and spirit have ways of getting my attention, as I wrote a little bit about recently in When the Journey Gets Dark…

As a point of clarification (if anything, for myself!), I wrote a friend this morning:

“…when it comes down to it, we all stand naked and alone before God.

“The ‘alone’ part is what is scary for most and what drives most to find fulfillment in things, people or experiences.

“Without the distractions of things, people, and experiences, life with only ourselves can be pretty unnerving. But I’m coming to understand and believe that this is where God is often revealed to us.”

(NOTE: I know this goes pretty deep for some and my intent definitely is NOT to alienate any readers who are not coming from a Christian, spiritual, or any kind of religious perspective. At the same time, I won’t deny or hold back my own Christian worldview, as it is an integral piece of my own journey.)

Alongside the distractions are the multitude of masks that I am capable of wearing. While the use is usually driven out of the need for self-protection, the result is usually almost always a distancing from my true self and my true potential.

For better or worse, and try as hard as I may, I really can’t divorce myself from myself. Wherever I go, there I am. I always have a choice is to how I will deal with the trappings of life and journey.

There is a selfish, bratty child named Eustace in C.S. Lewis’ “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” who, left to his own devices, underwent his own ugly transformation when he came across the treasure of a dead dragon…

“He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on the dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 97)

Awhile back a friend recommended a book that I’d put off reading for many months simply because of the title: “Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions.”

I (and I’m embarrassed to admit it) threw the word “addiction” under the category of substance abuse and shelved it away since I did not have any personal experience with substance abuse.

Well, I eventually picked up the book and was surprised with how helpful it was. Hardly touching on the subject of substance abuse at all, it provides an extremely well-rounded understanding of the nature of addiction - encompassing mind, body, and spirit.

As human beings, we ALL have addictions to and dependencies on something - including thoughts, habits, daily routines, ways of doing things, etc. - even the states of mind that create anger, frustration, and depression, as well as joy, bliss, and exhilaration. Most of it is unconscious.

“…images, memories, fantasies, ideas, concepts, and even certain feeling states can become objects of attachment…Perhaps we have also recognized that there are certain images of ourselves or concepts about the world that we somehow feel deeply forced to hold on to.”

(Gerald May, Addiction & Grace - Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions, p. 25)

For me, coming to terms with my naked, unmasked, and unstripped self is the key to discovering who I truly am, as well as my potential…

“Then the lion said…’You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of its claws, I can tell you, but I was nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right to my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.

The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off…and there it was on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking…and there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch…”

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, p. 115-116

John Maxwell says “If you could see yourself in terms of your true potential, you wouldn’t recognize yourself.” (Talent is Never Enough, p. 16)

What lies beneath the layers could be truly amazing…and I know I for one have barely scratched the surface.

Coming across someone who has brought their life to a screeching halt can be a scary thing sometimes. As human beings I firmly believe we are meant to always be moving, growing, learning, changing, and though it sounds strange, evolving.

Personally, I don’t think we’re meant to just “hang out” here, biding time through our entire existence.

I know that when I put everything on hold and ignore the signals of movement and growth that are happening inside me I can become very depressed, almost despairing.

It’s especially keen when I know and feel that it is a higher calling stirring within me.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, it is all too easy to put off, hit the snooze button, or utterly ignore those whispers of meaning and purpose that are always beckoning the human soul to its higher purpose.

There are so many distractions available, so many ways to dull the message coming toward me.

When I continually ignore the message, this other side of me manifests. Affectionately (or not so), this entity known as “Dennis” (see Self Acceptance: Building Belief in Yourself While Going for Your Dreams) comes equipped with his own beliefs, habits, imagination, and will. And subsequently, he rules as if there is no other reality.

C.S. Lewis beautifully depicts a similar manifestation in his book, “The Silver Chair.” A prince is captured by an evil queen and put under an enchantment that transforms him into a conceited, self-absorbed…jerk.

He must be bound in a chair, however, during times when the enchantment is lifted and his “right mind” comes back to him.

While under the spell, he has everyone convinced that he is who he says he is and the other, true self, is the bad guy, the one to keep bound up.

“Listen while I am master of myself. When the fit is upon me, it well may be that I shall beg and implore you, with entreaties and threatenings, to loosen my bonds…I shall call upon you by all that is most dear and most dreadful. But do not listen to me…For while I am bound you are safe. But if once I were up and out of this chair, then first would come my fury, and after that” - he shuddered - “the change into a loathsome serpent.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 170)

One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

I believe this to be both a very profound and very accurate statement.

But for the “spells” that I and many others put themselves under, there is so much that we could probably accomplish. Instead, many of us find ourselves like Ulysses in Homer’s Odyssey, in danger of crashing against the rocks by the enticing song of the Sirens that attempts to pull us away from the journey and our destiny.

Thankfully the spell lifts, the danger passes, and the right mind is returned to once again call the sojourner forward.

“Have they told you that if I am released from this chair I shall kill you and become a serpent? I see by your faces that they have. It is a lie. It is at this hour that I am in my right mind.”

(The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis, p. 172)

I am fully capable of convincing myself and the world around me that I am someone else when I am in the “Dennis” mindset. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he ain’t a very attractive guy. In fact, he’s a counterfeit to all that is good, true, and noble within me.

And as they say, like attracts like.

And for those who either love or hate the book and/or movie “The Secret,” this is what I’m talking about. The kids in C.S. Lewis’ book couldn’t stand the prince when he was under the spell.

There is a lot to be said for being grounded in one’s true self.

Children have such wonderful imaginations. Get around a little kid for awhile and you will inevitably get the sense that anything is possible for them…at all of 5, 6, 7 years old!

They are teachers, firefighters, policemen, soldiers, presidents, celebrities. Their imaginations are usually completely unbridled! And they usually have no fear either. They will try and do just about anything. They exhibit amazing confidence and determination until…

Ahhhhh, yes. Until.

Until the adult world begins to squeeze them into that teeny, weeny constrictive box. Their dreams become systematically dismantled. They hear the word "no" over and over again. They become ridiculed for their goals of wanting to be, do, and become more.

In essence: They become adults.

It’s sad but true. Fear overcomes faith. Reality replaces dreams. Mediocre becomes the highest standard for earning the measliest of raises.

But what happened to that childlike imagination? What happened to believing we could become whoever we wanted to be?

I will be bold as to say it never went away. It lies in all us, albeit dormant for many.

I sincerely believe everyone was brought into the world for a reason. Each of us has unique abilities that were meant to be contributed for the betterment of the world around us. I am a man of faith, so I believe that God put me here for a reason and that he has prepared specific things for me to do.

But for all the reasons I am writing this blog, I have my "hang-ups," the adult issues of living in a world where it isn’t always cool to think so differently from your neighbor, rock the boat, or trip up the status quo. You can read about some of my challenges in The Before Story…The Starting Point for Change.

So what to do…

How about getting back to dreaming and imagining like a child? Afterall, that ability never went away, though it may take some coaxing to come back for some.

I’ve been talking about affirmations, self-declarations, "I Am" statements, and the like. I guess to be brutally honest, it comes down to being like a kid again.

Who cares if whatever you’re declaring isn’t happening now? It could, couldn’t it?

Who cares if I’m not that kind of person today? I could be someday, couldn’t I?

And if I or anyone else is living a mediocre or unfulfilled existence right now, then isn’t it possible to believe that the only way is up??? Or would is it bettter to go down a few more levels until we’re six feet under?

So, I am now entering the Dream Zone. Yes, DREAM. As in IMAGINATION.

Here’s who I am…

I am creative.
I am an entrepreneur.
I am a man with a mission.
I am a man discoving his purpose.
I am a communicator.
I am a networker.
I am an artist.
I am a wordsmith.
I am an influencer.
I am a child of God.
I am growing.
I am determined.
I am courageous.
I am confident.
I am a leader.

When I look up my name in the dictionary I see:

"A man determined to overcome all odds to fulfill his mission and purpose in life. Bright, energetic, and highly creative. A person of great influence. A leader. Courageous and willing to go after whatever he wants no matter how difficult."

Many affirmations are declarations of what is already true, but perhaps forgotten or buried under years of neglect. Other affirmations are declarations of attributes that are sought after.

And if the world has beaten the dreamer out of any of us, many affirmations could very well be the bridge back to who we were destined to become when we were placed on this planet in the first place.

I am only limited by the scope of my imagination.

So dream, and dream BIG.

When it comes to changing myself, it is my core beliefs - the ones that are central to who I am as a person - that really need to be addressed. Attempting to change myself without looking at the beliefs I hold inside is like having all the lines memorized but delivering the performance without any connection to the part that’s being played.

My favorite summer TV show is So You Think You Can Dance. There are some great dancers competing on the show, but every season there are a handful of dancers who, though they have amazing technical skills, really struggle when it comes to letting their feelings and emotions come through the dance. The judges will often comment that they had a hard time believing the performance because they could not feel anything coming from the dancers.

It’s one thing to believe something in my head. It’s quite another thing to believe it in my heart.

So how do I get to that place? How about my subconscious mind…

"Many names have been used to distinguish the two functions of the mind. These include…the conscious and the subconscious mind…

"A wonderful way to begin getting to know the two functions of your mind is to think of it as a garden.

"You are the gardener. You are planting seeds of thought in your subconscious mind all day long…

"Imagine your subconscious mind as a bed of rich soil that will help all kinds of seeds to sprout and flourish, whether good or bad." (Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, p. 6)

I think this paints such a great picture of the possibilities.

The choice of what kind of seed I spread over my subconscious mind is really up to me. I don’t know about you, but I’m always telling myself things throughout the day.

When I beat myself up continually, I stand to reap a harvest of weeds.

But when I focus on the positive, where I’m headed, the areas I want to change, well then, I stand to produce a nice crop of empowering beliefs.

Most times when I repeat or meditate on my affirmations I really do feel as though something is being planted in me. It’s the oddest thing.

…to be continued again!

I’m wondering if anyone who read yesterday’s post thought I’d let that childhood "I am nothing…I am nobody" declaration slip by without further discussion… Nah!

I’ve often wondered about that little childhood mis-affirmation. It does seem kind of strange that at such a young age I was saying such things. I won’t dissect the psychology of it, but I will say that it shows (for some of us) that even the wackiest of beliefs can be set in us at an early age.

Listen to this insight about the circus elephant…

"While still young and weak, an elephant is tied by a heavy chain to an immovable iron stake. He discovers that, no matter how hard he tries, he cannot break the chain or move the stake.

"Then, no matter how large and strong the elephant becomes, he continues to believe he cannot move as long as he sees the stake in the ground beside him.  

"Many intelligent adults behave like the circus elephant. They are restrained in thought, action and results. They never move further than the boundaries of self-imposed limitation." (John Maxwell, The Winning Attitude, p. 81)

Raising the level of my self image takes consistent, persistent work, but I can still adopt new beliefs about myself immediately. Nothing stops me from doing that (check out a cool post from Craig Harper about that here).

It’s the continual working out of those beliefs in me that causes them to grow so that what’s on the outside matches what’s on the inside.

So change, being an inside job, requires a whole new way of thinking. I like what the Bible says about it (okay, here I go again with another verse, but Jesus came up with a good analogy for this one…so I’m puttin’ it in here!):

"Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wineskins burst, and the wine pours out and the wineskins are ruined; but they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved." 
(Matthew 9:17)

Tony Robbins says something similar:

"If you’ve repeatedly attempted to make a particular change in your life, only to continually fall short, invariably the challenge is that you were trying to create a behavioral or emotional shift that was inconsistent with your belief about who you are." (Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within, p. 417)

To be continued…again.